I'm interested in the workout food question for people who ARE marathon runners. I'm running 40-50 miles per week right now (which for me is almost ten hours of running), and finding it difficult not to gain weight, mainly because I don't have a great way of judging the difference between "the amount I need to eat to feel good through this workout" and "way more than I need to eat." Both quantities are far more food than what I would eat if I were dieting. I have enough experience to know that marathon training and weight loss are not very compatible - but I would like to at least stop gaining weight during training.
@packedsuitcase I love this suggestion. Thank you.
Thank you for the deluge of help and commiseration! Dude handles it pretty well when told "I really can't right now, but let's do it [at another time.]" One thing though is that we're both pretty bad about actually adhering to that later time... which has made me start to feel like when I say it I'm just blowing him off. To be honest the entire thing has gotten me so anxious and guilty feeling about how often we have sex and who initiates, that it's compounding the problem. Definitely his approach has room for improvement, but part of the issue is just that it has become such A Thing for me at this point. I feel self conscious and put on the spot. It's a weird situation for me because normally in a relationship the tables are turned and I am the Sex Nag. I have a newfound sympathy for all of my previous partners who wished I would just LET IT GO ALREADY.
Yo, any advice for a lady who almost never wants to have sex? Everything physical is fine, and she enjoys sex once it's in progress, but she thinks there is something about her partner's approach that is not at all doing it for her, like he always wants to have sex when she's already late for work or busy doing something else, and his method is basically just to nag and cajole rather than doing something sexy (or even nice) that gets her in the mood, and she doesn't know if there is a way to tell him this that won't come off the wrong way and start an enormous fight. Asking for a friend.
@The Lady of Shalott This thread has gotten me so worried that everyone around me thinks I am constantly trying trying tell them how bad their makeup, hair, perfume and home look/smell! Ahhh!!
Yeah I mean... she's not good. She's not bad, she just sounds kind of like your average karaoke mom. I don't know why, but I had kind of assumed she would sound like a worthwhile jazz vocalist.
@lasso tabasco I don't know either. I kind of think the best you can do is play it by ear. If you'd rather hang out with the person than go to the gym/run some errands/read a book right now, then go for it! If you're not at least equally interested in them compared to the other "kinda enjoyable" things you have going on, then it's probably not worth it.
I feel like LW1 should also probably ask herself to what degree she is accustomed to the drama and emotional extremes of falling in certain types of love. I can imagine that someone who spent their early relationships feeling completely overcome with emotion - and then suddenly enters the casual dating world as an adult - would be underwhelmed by the lack of emotional intensity in this new phase of her life. I definitely had that experience when I was "dating" for the first time. The relationship I'd been in immediately prior was so intense (in good and bad ways), that no new relationship could possibly match it. It made it very difficult to accurately gauge how I was feeling about new people.
IDK, good advice on that one in general, but I think the context matters.
I love the choice of spelling for those sounds!
@beasley I hope so, because that is my situation too!