Hi you lever-hitting-cocaine-rats, it's been a while. I totally ran out of old books. Now I only read current non-fiction (mostly true, but I also read the Hunger Games trilogy. Und3rwh3lm3d, or "wh2lm2d" as the current joking goes). Plus I got a new job (true). Plus I busted up my arm rollerskating at a bachelorette party (true). READ MORE

Happy Holidays, Hairpin. How's locking yourself in the hallway bathroom with a mug full of wine going? You'll come out when people RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES, that's when you'll come out. Better find a good old book to read in the meantime! READ MORE

My family is weird. Half of them don't speak to the other half; there was apparently serious family money at one point but now there is none; a cousin might have gotten a secret divorce (or else murdered her spouse, who has disappeared); and there is some legitimate religious fanaticism to throw into the mix. On top of the crazy stuff, there are the petty jealousies and one-upmanship, partly stemming from the fact that some of the cousins are very physically attractive, while others aren't, and that some of the cousins are successful in their careers, while others aren't (and the Venn diagram of these categories is constantly changing). A family reunion is coming up. What should I read to help me cope? READ MORE

Everyone needs a good pseudonym handy; you never know when you’ll accidentally write a novel. Anne, Charlotte, and Emily Brontë wrote as Acton, Currer, and Ellis Bell, a sisterly in-joke. Pearl Gray wrote Westerns as Zane Grey, because, Pearl. Charles Dickens sometimes wrote under Boz because he was Dickens and he could. Jane Austen published Sense and Sensibility as “A Lady,” because she predicted this website. And Mary-Ann Evans wrote as George Eliot, because if people would take her more seriously with one dude’s name, how seriously would they take her with two? READ MORE

Leda: So also can I do a test for Swan AIDS. READ MORE

Ohhh. . . hi, Hairpin. I didn’t recognize you for a sec, you look kind of tired! Yes, we should tooootally catch up. . . uh, my phone’s out of. . . power? but you should. . . find me on Facebook? Okayyy, gotta go meet some people for a drink. I’d ask you to come, but I don’t think you’d like it there, it’s kind of fancy. You know. READ MORE