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Marzipan

Marzipan

I love laughing and funny people and pineapple and hot air balloons and Calvin and Hobbes and I like the advice columnists because I like getting up in other people's drama especially since I don't have any and I don't like the cleaning/make-up/shopping columns so much because they remind me how much I don't and probably never will fully understand those mysterious arts.

On Interview With a Male CEO of a Women's Magazine

Okay, so seriously, why is Eudora not like super-famous already? Also, I would travel a significant number of miles to see her do stand-up, is that possible?

Posted on September 16, 2013 at 11:09 pm 3

On Deep Thoughts I Had While Watching the One Direction Documentary

Wait, do they all have matching golden retriever puppies, or were they just each given one for the length of that photo shoot, because it is has been scientifically determined that golden retriever puppy is th most photogenic and non-threatening of all possible puppies?

Posted on August 30, 2013 at 1:54 pm 1

On

@ghechr I thought they were ALL hot dogs??? Does that make me weird? Does that say something about me as person?

I don't know, but anyways, it was kind of creeping me out after a while, too.

Posted on August 19, 2013 at 2:55 pm 1

On Your Friday Book-y Post

@lobsterhug I JUST read one of hers, literally last night and the only reason I did is because I saw the title of One Good Earl Deserves a Lover and it actually made me laugh, I was all, that is like, a SOLID pun, I have to support that. And it was good!

I started with the first one, though, because I'm OBSESSIVE about starting at the beginning of series, even with romance novels, which, come on, what am I worried about? Like, "OH MY GOD, THEY GOT TOGETHER IN THE END?? WHOA WHOA WHOA SPOILER ALERT!!!" I don't know, enough about me.

Posted on May 3, 2013 at 9:51 pm 3

On Interview With a Virgin: Will

Posted on November 7, 2012 at 3:40 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

@teenie For what it is worth? I have met you, I did not notice any such fuzz. 0% noticed that. You are super cute though!

But, ugh, hair is my body-acceptance gremlin. 90% of my worries are hair-related, 10% generalized Not GoOOOoooOOod Enough Ghost. And I feel like I have better-than-average body-image.

Posted on November 2, 2012 at 5:14 pm 1

On Scrollus Interruptus

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

Oh noooooo I didn’t see that one and I disagree but also I feel like by questioning/criticizing her I am somehow proving her point? BUT I STILL DON’T GET HER POINT. Like, The Hairpin is not the perfect ladyblog she yearns for, because BFFness, but also Sisterhood isn’t good, but Dissent and Serious Issues is good, but also a Safe Place that doesn’t Take Itself Seriously and Isn’t Self-Righteous but Is Willing To Alienate and Be Hostile but is Funny and Doesn’t Focus On Womens Issues but is a Womens Blog and isn’t Exclusive or Try To Create Intimacy but does form a Community, I just…what does she want? what is the solution? Or even the problem? Like, is her thesis statement “Thing Is Not as Perfect as I Had Initially Hoped”? or “Thing Was Not Perfect For Me, Then People Got Defensive When I Criticized Something They Like, How Hostile and Alienating, Which I Wanted Them To Be, Except Not So Exclusive and Personal and Like They Think They Are FRIENDS OR SOMETHING, wrong/gross”? It’s just, I really, I really don’t know?? I don’t. What more do you want from us, Molly Fischer?? What could we possibly do to make you happy?? Why do we have to do it all? Why can’t you accept us despite our faults?

Anyways, sorry for all the Capitalizing, I should Really Stop.

Posted on October 25, 2012 at 5:54 pm 14

On Remember to Add a Title Here

@Marzipan But you know what I say, emphasis on the “correct” part of liberal political correctness, eh, guys, amiright? Ziiiiiiiiiing!

Posted on October 25, 2012 at 11:52 am 0

On Remember to Add a Title Here

I was actually enjoying the RIGHTEOUS ANGER of the comments on this, until the “LOL women, menstruation, ur all on the rag”, “boohoo liberal political correctness”, and “you guys just can’t handle the truth” nonsense-trolls found it (approx. 5 comments in).

Posted on October 25, 2012 at 10:52 am 0

On Strong People With Short Arms

@Nicole Cliffe I feel like it is SLIGHTLY reassuring, but more demoralizing. Like, that's been a goal of mine for a while, and now it feels like, "Yeah, hahahaha, you can't do that. you should probably give up on that." Which, first, like, fuck you, SCIENTISTS! I'll show YOU! but then, also, it is like, really freaking hard.

Posted on October 25, 2012 at 10:32 am 1