DrSpaceman
-Received medical degree from the Ho Chi Minh School of Medicine.
-Listed in the Writers' Guild health manual under fertility, meth addiction, and child psychiatry.
-Has killed at least one dog.
On What Was in Janis Joplin's Handbag?
And by "aspirin," he means Quaaludes.
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On F/M/K: Bill Murray, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase
F Caddyshack-era Chevy Chase any day of the week. Sexytime with 2010 Chevy seems like it'd just be a sad exercise in mutual self-loathing.
In the immortal words of Ty Webb:
I was boooorn to love you,
I was born to lick your face.
I was boooorn to rub you,
You were born to rub me first.
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On Solved: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet
But how will my 2-year old learn new and inventive curses if I don't yell like a Tourette's sufferer whilst folding those motherfucking fitted sheets?
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On The Best Time I Ever Swore at Someone
I was three years old. My sister, brothers, and mom were in the kitchen, and my brothers were having it out over some stupid thing. I walked into the kitchen, yelled, "Shut the hell up, you assholes! Sesame's on!", turned around, and walked back out.
I earned a new respect from the sibs, while my poor mother was left to pick her jaw up off the floor. Dad still gets the blame.
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On My High School Boyfriend Was Gay
We met through a drama club. He made me a mixed tape of Mazzy Star, NIN, Zeppelin, and Tori Amos songs which he titled "The Danger of Inner Beauty". We read poetry together and never got past first base. It was a no-shit moment when I learned he came out a few years ago.
Pretty fucking good tape, though.