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On Get This Kay Jewelers Commercial Out My Face

@stroopwafel Hahaha, me too. Every time I see these commercials, I imagine Jane Seymour saying the words, "Tell your story with my Two Butts collection." And I die. "Two Butts."

And my boyfriend just stares at me. He says he doesn't see it, butt I think he's just being a turd.

Posted on December 10, 2013 at 1:56 pm 2

On The Second Fortunate Cookie

I child's anguish, perfectly rendered.

Posted on October 14, 2013 at 1:25 pm 0

On So It's 1852 and You've Decided to Drink Less Water

@Lucienne Hahahahaah I couldn't believe that was real.

Also, "loose-busted corset snapper". Well done, Therese Oneill.

Posted on October 14, 2013 at 1:21 pm 0

On What to Expect When You’re Expecting a Sea Monster

So that couple who wanted a dolphin-assisted water birth: it would be totally OK in this particular situation, right?

Posted on October 2, 2013 at 5:16 pm 0

On Ask Baba Yaga: The Compilation

"For all of us have made ourselves partially of borrowings of blood & skin & sinew , & it: is a fool who thinks anyone's head comes furnished."

I love that one.

Posted on October 2, 2013 at 1:01 pm 0

On What I Learned From Reading The Economist

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict Haha. True. I may have exaggerated. Some.

Posted on October 1, 2013 at 6:35 pm 0

On What I Learned From Reading The Economist

I'll just say. In the old days, no picture accompanying an article would have had a string of numbers for it's alt text. A lack of attention to detail.

Posted on September 30, 2013 at 10:04 pm 6

On What I Learned From Reading The Economist

@leylusha Is it bad form to just post the link? In case anyone is wondering, the-toast.net

I KNOW, a dash and .net. It's not skeezy, I swear.

Posted on September 30, 2013 at 10:02 pm 3

On Discount Crystals

@Ee Gads And that I could pretend I'd found all the lost seeing stones, the palantir! Only not all evil-like, a la Saruman.

Posted on September 6, 2013 at 1:06 pm 0

On Discount Crystals

There's a store down the road from my house that sells crystals, etc. When my bf and I went there once, I was completely captivated by those polished spheres. This site seems really expensive. I seem to remember it being a much more reasonable fantasy of buying a bunch so that I could stare deeply into them while feeling their delicious, heavy weight in my hand.

Posted on September 6, 2013 at 1:03 pm 0