On Ask a Clean Person: The War on Bugs

My solution to the fruit fly problem: after clearing out any food in the apartment and cleaning the toilets (why are they so disgusting jesus) grab a spray bottle of Tilex and hunt the fuckers down one. By. One.

Your apartment will smell like bleach for a while (I only do this in the bathroom, but if there isn't any food anywhere else it's usually enough), but it's so viscerally satisfying to watch the bastards die.

Posted on July 21, 2011 at 11:33 am 2

On What Your American Girl Doll Says About the Rest of Your Life

I had Samantha! Not because I felt all superior but because I read a lot of A Little Princess when I was a kid and the pornographic descriptions of Sara's Victorian-rich-kid doll and all her Victorian-rich-kid clothes made an enormous impression on me.

The only things I really remember about her books were that maids were not allowed to be pregnant and NEVER WORK IN A FACTORY because the machines WILL RIP OFF HALF YOUR SCALP. And something about ice cream, I think.

Posted on May 10, 2011 at 1:47 pm 0