On The Best Time I Wrote Orlando Bloom Fan Fiction

At least your protagonists were stand ins for you instead of ACTUALLY you. I just shamelessly wrote RPF fan fiction ABOUT MYSELF and Orlando. And had some of my crazier friends do it too! (This abated in high school but THEN RESUMED when a friend of mine and I chose to try to teach ourselves to write erotica by writing about each other and our various celebrity crushes [Cumberbatch and Hiddleston, respective cheekbone gods.] Didn't realize that two ladies writing explicit porn about each other counts as long distance flirting. It does.)

This was PERFECT though ahhh! Filled with nostalgia and affection for pre-teen you and pre-teen me. Did you have a life size Legolas cut out?! Did you frantically read all three LOTRs books after seeing hte first movie to MAKE SURE LEGOLAS DIDN'T DIE?! I also had an Orli-obsessed pen pal, who at summer camp glued a picture of Orlando to a spatula, named him Mark, and then used him to dispense dating and also writing advice.

Teeniboppers are THE BEST, thank you so much for writing this. :)

Posted on January 13, 2015 at 2:14 pm 1

On What Your One Direction Crush Says About Your Year

@backstagebethy I have no idea what any of the One Directioners look like, but Own it. Bone it. + get more tattoos are how I endeavor to live my life, so I'm goin with him.

Posted on January 24, 2014 at 12:11 pm 2

On Here Is a Video of a Woman Eating a 72-Ounce Steak in Under Three Minutes

@She Saved The World, Alot That said, this is really impressive.

Posted on January 15, 2014 at 7:33 pm 0

On Here Is a Video of a Woman Eating a 72-Ounce Steak in Under Three Minutes

Ok but did everyone else see the little pop uppy thing that says "Click here to see me eat 9 lbs of cottage cheese in 1min 54 seconds."

That is the grossest thought I've had all day. Possibly all week.

Posted on January 15, 2014 at 7:32 pm 0

On Becoming Bisexual, Part Two: No Longer Just for Ladies!

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose This reminds me of an OKC profile I read lately. This girl was like "I like to have very intellectual and philosophical conversations" which, fine. But she also just generally came off as rather...snooty and condescending?

Her favorite book, though? *Withering* Heights.

People are funny.

Posted on November 9, 2012 at 1:33 pm 1

On Becoming Bisexual, Part Two: No Longer Just for Ladies!

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Haha of course! I would've felt very silly if I'd been all WRITING! WRITING! WRITING IS WHAT TURNS ME ON and then included "alot" in my username without it referring to the Alots!

Posted on November 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm 1

On Becoming Bisexual, Part Two: No Longer Just for Ladies!

@yeah-elle Gosh what is it about 23? I'm 23 also and have just recently realized (or not "realized" but maybe "admitted"? "come to terms with"?) that I'm bisexual. I guess I first "realized" it about 2 years ago, when I developed this overwhelming crush on this stunningly beautiful and phenomenally talented girl in a creative non-fiction class. Like, I wrote poems about her. But I thought maybe it was just a...writer crush? I don't know, I didn't set much in store by it, probably because I'd had some not-so-nice quasi-sexual experiences with girls before. Like, I had this friend in high school (a girl) who used to grab me and kiss me without my permission (she thought it was funny when I was grossed out by it? Because I suppose I was very sheltered/innocent in high school? I don't know. Non-con kissing from girls you're not attracted to, so they can laugh at your expense? Is exactly as uncool as it sounds.) There was another girl who in my freshman year of college would sneak into my room while I was napping and snuggle and grope me. Which was also squicky. I was laying on the couch in the lounge and she straddled me and unhooked my bra to give me a massage which - what? Why?

But then in junior year of college there was writer girl! And, more recently, I met another girl - also a writer, we both write about mermaids and fairytale retellings! And she is beautiful and makes her own clothes and we danced to Billie Jean and I *swear* there were eyes being made. But she has a girlfriend and lives far away, alas.

But anyway I changed my OKC profile to say bisexual and, because I am an overachiever, the first sentences proclaims that I am only interested in dating girl as the moment. And a girl I messaged messaged me back right this instant! Hurrah!

I haven't come out to my parents yet, though. My brother knows, because he is awesome - we actually met up for lunch a few weeks ago and were talking about dating and its many complexities, he just kind of blurted "Have you ever dated a girl? Or wanted to?" which was surprising in a (Arthur Shappey playing Charade's voice) HOW DID YOU KNOW sort of way. I'm a little scared to tell my parents, too, and like several people mentioned upthread, I probably won't unless/until I'm actually seriously dating a girl.

Most of my friends know and were completely not surprised. One of my friends, who is also bisexual, was really...skeptical? Kind of to the point of saying, "oh, sweetie, you're not *really* bi." Which was hurtful and irritating. I...decided not to waste time trying to convince her. And she believes me now. I guess I've established some sort of street cred somehow? I don't know. I've benefitted so much for SO MUCH of my life from straight privilege, that it was unsettling to experience that from someone. And I totally get what ya'll were saying about not wanting to co-opt the identity - because I do pass as straight and defintely have not experienced prejudice because of my sexuality aside from that one thing.

Posted on November 9, 2012 at 1:02 pm 1

On Close-Reading Your Boss' Brief Emails: A Guide for the Anxious

Ugh. My supervisor, after driving me nuts by throwing me into a clinic I haven't done/been trained for since LAST SEPTEMBER, send me an email at the end of the day that said "YOU DID IT! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! :) :) :)"

...I'd nearly had a panic attack at my desk that day. I almost put my fist through the computer screen when I saw that email. Don't treat me like I'm in kindergarten, TRAIN ME PROPERLY before you throw me through the ringer.

Posted on October 3, 2012 at 11:32 am 0

On Mini Ask a Lady: Teenage Tattoos

@curlysue Agreed! When I was 18 I wanted a pink unicorn. I'm glad it was vetoed. Granted, at 20 I got a blue footed boobie on my ribs, which may or may not be sillier than a unicorn, ymmv, but I'm pretty silly and I love my boobie. Then I got 2 birds of paradise on my 21st birthday, and they're beautiful, and I love them. I'm, uh, 23.

YAY TATTOOS EVERYONE GET TATTOOS (if that's your thing!) but YES think about them THIIIISS BIIIG and also spend at least a year (my rule, anyway) pondering the what and the where.

Posted on April 20, 2012 at 2:43 pm 0

On What Old Book Do I Read If...

@lobsterhug Funny story - my dad LOVES Diana Gabaldon. Like, at dinner one night, he started monologuing about who he would cast if he got to cast the movie. He threw one of the books at me a few months ago and was like READ THIS and I opened it right up to a sex scene and was mildly scandalized.

I'll read it one day but um. Still a little scandalized that my dad enjoys reading about sexytimes. He CLAIMS that he's in it for the biology afficionado solidarity (Gabaldon was a biologist before she was an author? I think?) and the historical fiction BUT I KNOW HE'S IN IT FOR THE SEXYTIMES.

Posted on April 18, 2012 at 3:49 pm 3