@anachronistique we use this recipe too! amazing cookies!
@hollysh yeah, read it this way too. nothing in the letter suggests the lady in question wanted anything more than "just to hang out" - what, she let him walk her to her car? she probably likes him as a person and values him as a friend but for whatever reason does not want a relationship with him! and that should be fine! it's kind of crushing, honestly, when your "i want to be friends" is somehow seen as disingenuous/illegitimate, and actually, the other person has NO interest in being friends without sexual benefits with you! and then hates you for "leading them on." because you are friendly with friends. gah.
@ghechr yes, amsterdam! so so so great. i stayed with friends there, but i always had fun staying at hostels in europe - it's a good way to meet people if you're feeling bored/lonely. i usually looked at the reviews on hostelworld.com to suss out the vibe, level of discomfort... but yeah, amsterdam: so walkable, great museums (rijksmuseum, van gogh, anne frank house, great little photography museum), great food actually, super friendly people who usually speak impeccable yet adorably accented english. also easy to do excursions to the hague, other cities, which i wish i had done.
@HitchedUpKids oh girl, i feel you. i also experienced social anxiety out of nowhere during my freshman and sophomore year of college that still rears its head a bit. seeing a therapist helped. also, the terrible loop of isolating yourself just makes it that much harder to initiate conversations, relate to people, at least for me, because spending the whole day alone just meant reinforced my paranoia about people disliking me, etc. also i found running to be very therapeutic - for me, just channeling the anxiety into running, and then feeling physically exhausted and a little better. also it helps you sleep better! and brains like sleep. also i just graduated college a few months ago and honestly, it is a traumatic, strange period even in the best of cases. hold on to the people who are worth it, and whoever doesn't want to be your friend? fuck 'em, their loss. /sorry for rambling
@wee_ramekin ja, this. if anything, in my *personal experience*, the less-attractive guys have a nasty "i hate women. they are superficial and don't like ME and owe me sex" side that comes out. while sadly, the more-attractive guys are a little less bitter, and more secure and decent? most madly attractive guy i could not believe was attracted to me...turned out to be the nicest! less attractive guy i had a friend-connection with, said 'what the hell' and made out with and tried to leave it at that when there were no fireworks...creepy CREEPY nasty reaction.
aaah i also poked around that antique photo store last time i was in rome - so amazing. god, how do i get back...
just going to leave this here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfAJnf8DHLk
@carolita wise words, thank you for the response! haha, i have a similar friend who once just started touching my male friend's biceps. there was one perfect French boy i regret not chasing after...i sat across from him in that little park across from Shakespeare and Co. and fastidiously read my Voyage au bout de la nuit by Colette for class in order to prevent myself from gazing and gaping. and then he came over! and said that was his favorite book, and then the requisite "pity he was a nazi sympathizer!" and we chatted for 10-15 minutes, and i said i was leaving paris in two weeks (despite my best efforts to find a summer job, any job!) and he apologized for disturbing me and i stammered and he left.
carolita!!! marvelous. i lived in paris for nine months yet never managed to "take a lover." woe, woe, woe.
but managed a six day interlude in rome, with one of those older italians thrilled by the attentions of a twenty-something. the best.