On On Being Unexpectedly Crummy at Breastfeeding

I didn't make enough. It was dark to day the least. Thanks for putting this out there, because while breast is obviously best, formula is second best, goddamn it. Also, in traditional cultures your neighbors or family would have pitched in to feed her. Also, it's nobody's business. How dare those harpies judge you. I actually felt I would not fully be her mother if I failed to breastfeed. That is pathetic and I fully blame breastfeeding propaganda for brainwashing me.

Posted on February 1, 2012 at 7:40 pm 0

On Elle Varner, "Refill"

Thank you!

Posted on November 23, 2011 at 1:51 pm 0

On A Semi-Microeconomic Analysis of Halloween Treats

I crawled out of the woodwork to tell you that you haven't lived till you chew Mike & Ike together with popcorn at the movies. Trust.

Posted on October 25, 2011 at 9:56 pm 0

On A Rebuttal to the Modern Meanings of Flowers

@becky@twitter I took my husband to the peony stand at the farmer's market. I bade him smell them, touch them. I spelled "peony" and we repeated the name together. No dice, as of yet.

Posted on July 11, 2011 at 7:39 pm 4

On The May-December Romance

Well, I never thought us it this way before, but yeah, I made out with a 16 year old and a 42 year old when I was 25. Judge away. The 42 year old was actually the mistake.

Posted on June 22, 2011 at 10:44 pm 0

On Cooking for Your Own Wedding Without Losing Your Mind

@acefreakly same here. We found out who made the best Middle Eastern snacks and ordered big trays of it, salads, pita, feta, hummus, baba, etc. If you ask a few friends to bake cookies and cupcakes instead of a gift, they will probably thank you. You can then have the moms decorate them with whatever's cheap for flowers, we got small daisies. Beer. Wine. Soft drinks. Done.

Posted on May 25, 2011 at 9:13 pm 0

On Let's Play the Six-Word "Momoir" Game

It's like poppyseed cake, with tortillas.

Posted on May 18, 2011 at 1:54 am 0

On Help Hot Mayonnaise

We need to SERIOUSLY consider the girl's Street name along with this, in order to establish her future stripper name. Bonkers goes with everything, so I say name the pooch Bonkers.

Posted on May 13, 2011 at 8:49 pm 0

On When Your Wife Is Your Toughest Critic

Me: I want to write your blog.
Him: I love you, but no.

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 3:36 pm 0

On "My Boyfriend Does My Makeup"

My husband compared her to the blase tornado guy.

Posted on April 19, 2011 at 5:17 pm 2