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On Acne Makes Us Do Crazy Things

1. Remember how people used to say "hey, it's no big deal! No one even notices!" I stopped believing that on the night when I sat down at dinner, a zit on my nose that was too shiny and slippery for coverup to stay on it, and my father greeted me with "Hi, Rudolph!"
2. I have to join in with some others admitting to missing the popping experience. There was this psychological purging element to it that just doesn't happen with anything else. Sometimes I watch those home surgery cyst-popping videos on youtube just to live vicariously. I guess this means I was Stockholmed by acne?

Posted on November 1, 2011 at 9:59 pm 3

On Mona & Steve

@hands_down You know, this past summer, as I gave a eulogy for my mother after she LITERALLY died in my arms (and Simpsons' description of the changes in breathing in the moments before death is uncanny in its accuracy, btw), my one thought was: I sure hope people on the internet read a transcript of my hastily and tearfully written tribute, and talk about how much the writing sucks. Because that is the most important part of eulogies: the literary criticism to follow.

This might sound weird, but very few people use funerals as a chance to talk about the moral failures of recently deceased loved ones. (Outside of wacky sitcom Very Special Episodes, anyway.)

Posted on November 1, 2011 at 9:45 pm 2

On That Movie You Should Watch on Netflix Instead of That Movie Released in Theaters Today

@FloraPosteHaste I sometimes feel sad for the guy who got cast to play Jim-in-Sam's-body, because he probably thought, heyyyy, I'm getting a part on a network show! I'm going to be one of the leads!

And then his entire job was filming shots of reflections in car windows while Original Jim still got to do everything else. BUMMER.

Posted on October 21, 2011 at 7:50 pm 0

On That Movie You Should Watch on Netflix Instead of That Movie Released in Theaters Today

@Hellcat I think you can get glee from hating her while enjoying the show, because it is a terrible show and she is pretty terrible in it. The pleasure of TGW does not come from deep emotional connectedness with the main character.

My favorite game while watching is, "how will Melinda inaccurately repeat a ghost's final words to his/her loved ones this week?"

Posted on October 21, 2011 at 7:48 pm 0

On Tattoos: No Longer Permanent!

I bet it was nice for his mom to see his face again?

Posted on October 21, 2011 at 4:24 pm 1

On That Movie You Should Watch on Netflix Instead of That Movie Released in Theaters Today

Not to question life choices, but YOU SHOULD TOTALLY INVEST IN WATCHING EVERY EPISODE OF THE GHOST WHISPERER. It is this transcendentally bad shining jewel of amazing hair and wearing nightgowns as daytime clothes and lots of glistening teardrops.

I knew I was destined to love it when, in the first episode, Melinda meets a ghost-- and then proceeds to tell every person in the world about it, instead of angsting about her SECRET IDENTITY. "Crap, was that another ghost? I should go get a coffee so you two can talk," her business partner and bff Aisha Tyler said. "Honey, do you need me to drive you somewhere for ghost stuff?" her husband asked while randomly taking off his shirt and getting out of the shower wet.

Okay, I might be conflating some episodes there, but still. AMAZING.

Posted on October 21, 2011 at 4:10 pm 1

On My Case With Accutane

Late to the convo, but sign me up for team "Maybe it changed a few things about my digestion, but I am still grateful that I got to take 1.5 courses of Accutane".

It was a last resort for me as well-- especially because it turns out I'm allergic to Benzoyl Peroxide. Before Accutane happened, I decided to try Proactiv, and when the first few days left my face red and bumpy, I foolishly thought "maybe this is the skin purging the poisons out! Maybe this means it is working!"

Cue me, two days later, walking down a NYC street weeping from the pain of AIR touching my face.

Anyway, ACCUTANE! People now give me compliments on my skin-- and I took it eight years ago. Lifechanging.

Posted on October 21, 2011 at 3:04 pm 1

On Polyamory, Hair-Pulling, and Responding to Compliments

@Porporina read @viola bruise riiiiiight beneath your comment. No one seems upset by polyamory, actually. People seem upset by:

-douchebags who cheat, and then say "but I'm poly, I just never told you about it and now you are repressing meeeeeeeeeeeee" (which, of course, is NOT being poly, since that is all about informed consent).

-poly people who insist on proselytizing about how great and amazing their lives are and monogamy is sooooooooo over. I am sure you are not one of these people. But these people exist, and they TALK A LOT.

Posted on September 13, 2011 at 4:18 pm 6

On The Poetry of Danielle Steel

I can't believe you didn't include "Only Violets", the greatest poem ever written. A TURTLE WOULD BE NICE.

Posted on September 12, 2011 at 1:19 pm 1

On Talking to Women, Gchat Crises, and Pre-Adolescent Encounters

re: 4, you said "the mess after condom-less sex is part of womanhood". Is there some reason your husband can't deal with the fact that if he wants late night sex, he needs to wrap up?

Posted on April 25, 2011 at 3:49 pm 1