"Funny (but not cheesy) Cool Music Hot Opinionated Guy 1989-2013" - my tombstone
On Interview with Filmmaker Izzy Chan: "Have we adjusted our expectations of what a man needs to bring to the table?"
breaking my hairpin comment fast to say i was JUST feeling/dealing with this today.
Context: im from a poor family (whom, due to finances I now live with) and have no degree and lost my job at the beginning of the summer. due to lack of said degree its been hard to find a job in boston and where i currently live there isnt many employment opportunities. she grew up in a solid middle class family, has a degree and had it paid for by her parents and just started a full time job that is more or less a career.
shes been very supportive but as of late i can feel tension starting to bubble over regarding my lack of employment and how my family operates and how i interact with them (i loaned my mom all my cash on hand this morning so she could get cigarettes, leaving me broke. gf was very upset about this, but she doesnt understand what its like to have no money for anything all the time).
whenever im over her house i offer to clean (shes kind of messy) and cook dinner bc i feel like without money i cant contribute anything of worth to our relationship, and it still feel like it not enough.
i wouldnt say that anything we've feeling is strictly due to gender (tho i do at times feel inadequate that i cant, say, pay for dinner for her if we're out) but more of class and hating the idea that im someone's burden and that im in a 'lesser' or dependent position than anyone bc of my lack of means.
@Judith Slutler i guess i mean awful in that i dont wanna be derailing any conversations but ugh that annoys me so much
can i be awful and go off topic and say that i really fucking hate when liberals do the "race as a shorthand for economic/social capital" thing in all instances?
@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) THIS SOUNDS INCREDIBLE. toronto friend told me theres a place where u can get amazing falafel, soup and a soda for $2!?!?! i looked at apartments on craigslist and started to weep.
@SarahP yall have to throw me a party when i leave its the law
a few weeks ago i was hanging out with a friend at a bar and she asked me what my '5 year plan' was. i laughed and said that i didnt know what i was doing an hour from then. but it kinda stuck with me and i was like 'welp maybe i should have concrete goals to work towards instead of vague proclamations??'.
so i talked to my friend who lives in toronto and we kinda sorted it all out and my new goal now is to move to montreal and go back to school and im posting it here so if i act stupid and dont i can be properly publicly shamed for it?
@Statham no no its ok! i wouldnt ask if i didnt want council, and i really appreciate it! i need at least some stable employment before i go back (if i do) anyway, so its not like i have to make a choice immediately. idk how long credits from CC are valid, but when i was in 4 year i dont think i needed to stay for a full 4 (tho this was not expectedly stated to me). i was thinking (PIPE DREAM ALERT??) of maybe going somewhere else, maybe even out of the country, to go back bc its SO PRICEY here
@Statham i wanna work for a non profit possibly but most require any type of 4 year degree for even basic stuff and i dont have the financial means to do unpaid work right now.
@upupandaway thats actually how i got into 4 year to begin with (i have an associates). i was on a really great transfer program but blew it by going to a terrible state school that gapped my loan and sold it to a private collector
@chevyvan @RK Fire ok so what i mean by 'college experience' is mostly paying for a shitload of amenities (like, a huge problem with the college infrastructure rn is private and public colleges proliferating their classes, constructing new buildings, and basically expanding to infinity in order to compete with each other for better students. 9/10 'better' meaning wealthier and having more prestige. i really dont care about lavish dining halls or robots that can get books for me in the library. a lot of that cost goes into student tuition and if not, the salaries of the admin that run all this does). i actually really like to study and was good at school while i was there! i just dont wanna have to study things and pay to 'broaden my horizons' or whatever. im really good at networking too (its how i got my last job at PBS, before the project ended). ive just run out of ppl to network with. like one of my biggest regrets about dropping out is that i really dont have any friends/close relationships with anyone my own age.
I really wanna get into activism with regard to helping the poor and education reform. for some reason any job that deals with this typically either is for students only (and dont pay) or requires a BA. thus im in a weird position.
@RK Fire i mean, a big part of it is even expensing it. im 24 and have been out of school for like 3 years, and i have very little interest in doing (or paying for) the ~college experience~ and im not sure if i can easily opt out of all that while living in MA
lol im still unemployed and im considering going back to school to get a BA but that makes me feel like a dumb loser and like im betraying my politics