@Mae I'm really concerned about how she procured the heads on stakes with which to decorate the classroom...
why did I just watch that video of Miley Cyrus "twerking" *throws self away*
@supfreckles Oh no. There's really nothing worse than a breakup conversation in which someone unpacks a whole suitcase full of bullshit rationalizations as to why they are breaking up with you. Did you NEED to know any of that? No. How unfair of him to dump it on you. Definitely don't treat any of it as a referendum on your character, this sounds like it's a problem with him, not a problem with you.
I also agree that you should move out sooner than later if at all possible. It'll be so hard to move on otherwise. I'm sorry this happened to you.
@adorable-eggplant FWIW we cross-posted and I really like your point as well! Who is this dude to make himself the arbiter of cultural purity, right?
@blueberry mary Don't stress - you just had bad luck and maybe learned one thing you can use to filter out dudes in the future. What to do about close friends who think you're being too sensitive - idk. Keep in mind that it's tough to think these kinds of issues through clearly, I'm sure none of your friends were trying to mislead you about whether or not it's racist to oppose interracial relationships. You could always go back and say, "You know, I was thinking some more about that guy, and I figured out that his stance really bothers me for these reasons! What do you think?" Use it as a little teachable moment maybe?
@blueberry mary Yep, that's racist. For a simple explanation of why, just consider the rhetorical gap between "interracial relationship" and "culture." It's a cheap, old trick to conflate race with "culture" in order to make his opposition to interracial relationships sound culturally sensitive. But since when is "white" a culture? NOPE that is some barely coded racial purity NONSENSE. Proceed with caution.
@Roxanne Rholes Well, I think it is tough and badass to know that you aren't sure yet and to trust yourself to meet up with him. Being vulnerable is actually pretty badass when you think about it.
You guys, I am so looking forward to moving out of my apartment which includes my roommate who doesn't like me and who told me to move out. But I can't really take any actions toward moving out because there aren't any rooms available for November yet on Craigslist Equivalent. :(
Someone stop me from looking at places I can't apply for. This is worse than when I found the "Cats to Adopt" section of the ebay classifieds site.
@A. Louise Seating! Perhaps your friends have their shit together so thoroughly that you could ask some to bring folding chairs?
@Roxanne Rholes Is it helping you to think about this in terms of "weakness" and "strength"? Because you might be really putting pressure on yourself by deciding that you need to be tough and see him, but also need to be tough and shoot him down. Because it would be weak to not see him again, but it would also be weak to give him a chance.
There's some kind of a paradox / Möbius strip thing going on there imho as if you may be trying to shoehorn yourself into a role you perceive as "tough" but it actually may just be tough as in unnecessarily difficult???
@lemonadefish I would threaten to hire contractors and bill the landlord. BUT I'm in a country full of renters where such a threat has the law on my side, so idk if you could do that in other places.