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On Now That I'm Married, I Only Use Crystal

And here I am eating cheese off a wooden cheese plate like a chump, all covering it with saran wrap!

I find it endlessly hilarious that we Americans want to mince around the whole act of giving and asking for wedding presents. It's such an impossible etiquette dance - don't ask for anything, but make sure to have a registry so you get what you want. Don't say you don't want gifts, because that acknowledges that gifts are expected (which they are). On the other side, for heaven's sake get someone a gift that precisely captures what the couple means to you... but make sure it's off their registry or you are a monster.

I much prefer the pockets of American culture where Honeymoon registries and dollar dances are the norm.

Posted on November 25, 2013 at 12:16 pm 1

On Abortion Restrictions in Texas Ruled Unconstitutional

According to the Dallas paper, only two parts of the law are enjoined - the requirement that practitioners have admitting privileges with hospitals, and the requirement that doctors follow woefully out-of-date FDA regimens when administering medical abortion drugs.

Posted on October 28, 2013 at 4:14 pm 0

On Improving My Woman Cave

The issue is that the Riddell NFL Pink Breast Cancer Awareness Mini Speed Helmet is pink, a color that is decidedly unfit for my Cleveland Browns Woman Cave.

YESSSSS. This whole post knocked me out but the last paragraph was just too much. I'm converting our guestroom into a Niner's Nation Women's Cave. Do you think I could get Colin Kaepernick wallpaper?

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 1:14 pm 0

On How to Mount a TV When You Have No Boyfriend, No Prospects, and Lack the Shamelessness Required to Ask for Help

That second drill was probably actually a driver, and might have come with some sockets (or maybe not, for $80). Driver and sockets combined form... ELECTRIC WRENCH OF POWERAWESOMO! Anyway, buy a socket set for your electric driver!

Posted on September 12, 2013 at 2:46 pm 0

On Another Argument for Banning Greek Life

What an incredible piece of student journalism! I did not attend a college with a greek system, but the system at UA seems very unique to me - read up on The Machine (more), which is a long-standing name for a semi-secret organization of "traditionally"-white fraternities and sororities on the UA campus. The Crimson White's reporting on The Machine in the last few years seems like the kind of journalism we need more of in this country.

Posted on September 12, 2013 at 1:35 pm 0

On What Happened at the VMAs? As Always, the Answer Is "Everything" and Also "Nothing"

@Slutface I can't stop watching it. It's like one of those parasites that attaches inside a fish's mouth and eats their tongue, but then becomes their tongue. It has a mind of it's own.

Posted on August 26, 2013 at 10:12 am 5

On What Happened at the VMAs? As Always, the Answer Is "Everything" and Also "Nothing"

Oh god, that was 13 years ago? I think that was the first VMAs where I actually followed pop music and was heavily invested in both MTV and in pop acts.

Posted on August 26, 2013 at 10:06 am 1

On Did We Live Up To Our Yearbook Pages?

@Briony Fields I got a high school class ring, and on one side is has a musical staff (I pretty much stopped playing violin the day I graduated high school) and the other side is a glowing cross on a hill (yeah... that didn't last much longer). I would love to wear my class ring but now it sort of represents how damn earnest I was and how I thought I would be the same forever.

Posted on June 28, 2013 at 4:20 pm 0

On Did We Live Up To Our Yearbook Pages?

@muddgirl ALSO the highlight of my senior year was when my good friend on the school newspaper put ME in her goodbye editorial! My name in the paper!

Posted on June 28, 2013 at 4:12 pm 0

On Did We Live Up To Our Yearbook Pages?

My parents took my senior portrait in our underlit living room (in college, someone told me to my face, "Oh thank GOD, from your lookbook photo I thought you were PSYCHO!") and me and my best friend traded senior quotes (In that she "quoted" me and I "quoted" her). So yeah, basically I was Over It.

Posted on June 28, 2013 at 4:09 pm 0