On Elderly Dogs and Babies: A Primer
DENALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Uh...and BABY CLIFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (I...don't know her name. Is that because I am a bad 'Pinner, or because we don't actually know her name?)
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On "Take a Step That Is New..."
NICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!!! Yay! I am so happy that you are legally a part of the 'Pin for always and always and always. Now you can never leave us!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
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On Not Chasing Amy
@redheaded&crazie "Cole's Notes"? Is that what they call Spark Notes in Canada? That is charming!
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On Friday Open Thread
@leon.saintjean I think the body part you're looking for is "loins". "Keep your loins to the grindstone", is how that saying goes.
[*No, it doesn't. Ouch.]
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On Friday Open Thread
@Mingus_Thurber Oh darlin'. I am so, so sorry about your dog.
Are you the kind of person who needs to wallow a bit in grief...cry it out until you can bathe in it and your fingers get pruney? (I am.) If so, you might try listening to Gotye's song "Bronte". It's about a pet's death, and makes me sob even though none of my pets have died.
Also, one book I find lovely is a a children's book by Rosemary Sutcliff called A Little Dog Like You. It's very sappy, but I think it's touching.
If you're not a person who likes to wallow in grief, stay far, far away from both of these things. I'm so, so sorry, again, about your dog's death.
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On The Non-Monogamous Couple Returns
@thebestjasmine Hmmmm. I see your point, but I can't escape the fact that this instance feels different to me. Also, FWIW, as a queer chick, I thought @Lila Fowler's comparison of this thread to folks coming on to A Queer Chick and hypothetically saying "Queer chicks are fine and all, but I really don't think I'll ever want to put my face on a vagina!" was extremely apt.
Let me see....hmmmm. I guess to me, what this Ask A column and the Ask A Queer chick column have in common is that both address the concerns of a specific set of people, people whose concerns and lifestyles are usually overlooked. It's so rare to find an advice column that actually answers the concerns and questions of queer folk, or non-monogamous folk, from the point of view that those lifestyles or backgrounds are acceptable.
It's also somewhat of a trope in ANY CONVERSATION EVER about non-monogs or poly issues that some monogamous person will earnestly say: "I could never do this!". Honestly, I don't think people who make those comments are bad, or are trying to be dicks, but mostly it's just like...dude, WE* GET IT. We get that most people could never do this, that is WHY this column was created (remember A Lady's horribly off-base advice to someone asking about non-monogamy?). Can't we think of columns such as Ask A Queer Chick or Ask A Non-Monogamous Couple as spaces where folks who have questions of a queer or non-monog nature can ask them, and those of us who could never do non-monog or who aren't queer can read and learn and discuss without talking about HOW WE COULD NEVER?
Your examples about tea/coffee, kids/no kids, make up/no make up seem a little different to me because in those cases, we're not talking about somewhat marginalized populations who usually have their issues sidelined in everyday discussion.
*spoken as a lady who probably "could never do" an open relaysch
4
On The Non-Monogamous Couple Returns
@JessicaLovejoy I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I love you.
1
On Not Chasing Amy
@sniffadee Hahahahaha. WE ARE LEGION! WE ARE MELIS!
and also....
THIS. IS. HAIRPINIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
2
On Not Chasing Amy
@Ellie Why do you think that we have so few trolls? Usually they are ignored, or they are hurried along their way with some pointed humor.
Okay, I'll put this out there. I really don't get trolls. Seriously. I have no idea why someone would enter an environment, shake it up by being a tool, and then sit back and watch with glee. It really doesn't compute for me. And so when I see a trollish comment left in the normally respectful (even when we're disagreeing) comment threads, I do respond to it if the comment writer is directly disparaging the author. To use the 'What I Meant to Do' article as an example, the commenter in that case directly called the author a "lazy piece of shit". Even if that's "just trolling", those words mean something, and reading them was jarring and upsetting for me - and I would imagine it was worse for the person at whom they were directed. I honestly do think of 'Pinners as my online friends (hi!), and when someone says something that callous and rude, I'm not going to let it stand.
The special charm that @melis has, in my opinion, is that she writes witty, hilarious responses to the trolls that simultaneously a) let whoever is being attacked know that the 'Pintariat has their back and b) diffuses tension. I don't have that witty way with words. When I get angry/protective, I'm apt to say something that escalates the situation, or that is, at best, over-earnest. I find that @Melis's humor de-escalates things...everyone sees that the situation is being "dealt with", and so cracks jokes instead of ratcheting up the tension.
And yes, it really is "standard practice" around here for @melis, or sometimes @atipofthehat, to do this. I used that expression because as long as I've been 'Pinning (I guess...almost...a year and a half now? OMG.), that's how they've handled things. And in my opinion, it has worked really well so far.
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On Elderly Dogs and Babies: A Primer
@julia Old dogs make my heart clench with a mixture of sweetness and sadness. Sadness that they are about to make their way out of this world; sweetness that that have lived long, good lives of love.