@iceberg Perfect. At my publication, my boss runs all the headlines by me to make sure we don't print something embarrassing. "Could this be sexual at all, Rose?"
Rose: *sees headline "Keeping It In the Family"* *laughs a lot*
Rose: "Yeah, that's about incest."
@iceberg Oh, my brain almost subconsciously makes double entendres of everything. If it can be make sexual, I'll usually point that out.
@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Oh, actually, a joke! (That I already posted to Twitter after it did not elicit enough laughs in a packed conference room at work)
"Are we in San Francisco? Because this is a full house!"
...I'll see myself out.
@OhMyGoshYouGuys I'd imagine the pick-up lines for winter are the easiest. Something to do with being cold, cuddling, body heat, friction, etc... I'm a bit rusty on pick-up lines, but I bet we could figure something out.
@OhMyGoshYouGuys Spill a hot cocoa in his lap. Meet cute! Just like, throw a hot cocoa at a passerby. Solved it.
I'm fresh-ish off a breakup, and I have no current prospects. All I want is a winter rebound. If only there was a way to convey this to strangers solely through eye contact...
@StandardTuber Related, I am going to write a satirical piece on how to feed a picky eater. For example, here is some actual advice I've read about picky eaters:
1. Don't be a short-order cook who caters to their whims. BUT...
2. Always offer their preferred foods with other new foods.
Because you want them to eat the foods you want them to eat, but you're also so riddled with guilt about them not eating new foods that you will always make french toast for dinner, anyway at least until they go off to college.
Sobriety update: No alcohol for eight months now, Hairpin. One thing I've learned is that I have a backbone ("Should I just give in and drink that frosty IPA? No. Come on. You've made it this far. Do you want to start over again?") and that has translated to joining a crazy strenuous strength program to make my outsides match my tough insides. Stay warm out there!
@iceberg My co-worker just had a baby and after lunch yesterday she was talking about diapers, and I said out loud, "UGH, babies."
@iceberg Maybe a fancy pair of socks? Like, "If you let us remove the footies, you can wear these faAabulous socks." It would work as a bribery tactic for nearly 30-something me.