On Never Bring Your Boyfriend to Brunch

@or Elsa! Oh man, that is way too passive-aggressive!

Posted on August 19, 2014 at 2:03 pm 0

On A Taxonomy of Ghosting

Moaning Myrtle: The very sad, very weepy ex who still sends long tortured emails months after the break up. All this after you only went on 5 dates.

The White Lady: Sends a wildly elaborate wedding invitation to your parent's address (you haven't spoken in YEARS) to make sure you know how great they are doing.

Posted on August 18, 2014 at 12:29 pm 3

On How I Became an Adult Backstreet Boys Fan

What? Howie was the best Backstreet Boy.

Also, One Direction sucks. Except for Zayn. Zayyyyyn.

Posted on August 15, 2014 at 1:57 pm 0

On August Horoscopes from Galactic Rabbit

Galactic Rabbit just looked into my SOUL.

Posted on August 4, 2014 at 1:59 pm 1

On Relax. You're in Los Angeles.

Living in LA is like walking into a room and forgetting why you went in there in the first place. Not in a bad way!

Posted on July 17, 2014 at 2:24 pm 0

On "I Don't Fucking Care If You Like It"

I think what really galls me about the kind of men who applaud women for having "a few dings" (like a car, because they are always comparing women to cars) but still being fuckable is that they seem to think her "experience" is an excuse for them to be callous. She's already been damaged by life right, so what's a little more?

Posted on July 17, 2014 at 12:47 pm 5

On The Prom King on Instagram, 10 Years After the Party

@hotdog I feel the same way. I'm the same age and live in the Big City and still feel young and free, but many of the people I graduated from high school with who stayed in our hometown are just watching CSI and eating at the Olive Garden. I secretly thought I was a lot cooler than them in high school, and I know I'm a lot cooler than them now.

Posted on July 8, 2014 at 12:58 pm 0

On A Swim in Scotts Flat Lake

I loved tubing as a kid. I'd hang on until my lips turned blue and the friction had worn away the skin on my legs. I think I turned out ok.

Posted on July 3, 2014 at 12:59 pm 0

On Dear Shailene Woodley

What does it mean to "hail men"? Is it like hailing a taxi? If I walk out to the curb, raise my arm and yell "Man!", will a man pull up and give me a piggy-back ride to my house when I'm drunk?

Posted on May 6, 2014 at 4:53 pm 10

On March Horoscopes from Galactic Rabbit

@adorable-eggplant But Mercury was retrograde in February? I think we're going to be ok.

Posted on March 3, 2014 at 1:42 pm 1