Hands that lift and drop a question on your plate
@madamvonsassypants me too!!
@bananab0at Careful. It really sounds as though this is not mutual--that the guy is coming to visit to "figure out" whether he is "in love" with her, while she is just living some sort of paralyzed existence waiting for his love-verdict as one of the good things to focus on amidst the ocean of bad things.
And as far as the people will change in 10 years thing, that's a long time to be put on the back burner while he takes all the time he needs to navel-gaze/"self-actualize" enough to treat you with respect. And it's not guaranteed that he'll get to that point.
I'm one of those people who had a similar situation. It's true, cutting the guy in question off was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but this relationship was having serious repercussions on my mental health. The longer you continue to talk to him, the more dependent you will become, and the harder it will be to stop.
Therapy has helped me a lot with this. Maybe it could help you, too.
Good luck! Like I said, I know this is really tough, but as long as you continue to entertain this guy, you will never have peace of mind.
In my mind, this sounded a lot like a Log Lady intro.
Whoa! I tried this one time and it didn't work, and was under the impression that the alcohol kept it from freezing. Perhaps I used the wrong beer? Anyway, well done.