@winchesterwolcott Because it allows you time to kind of feel out whoever you're considering showing it to? Because it allows you to filter out people who would definitely crack a bottle over your head in the bar? I mean, obviously filters don't always work, but you can't blame someone for at least keeping the first-line ones up.
1) A trans girl is, in fact, a girl. She may or may not have what we traditionally consider "girl parts", but she is still a girl, so quit it with the "'girl'" thing.
2) So instead of waiting for an appropriate moment (and thus "lying" to you till that point), trans people should... what, tell everyone about the state of their genitalia as soon as they meet? I don't want anyone doing that, trans or cis. Are they supposed to wear little buttons so everyone knows? I seriously am fucking baffled by people who describe not coming out immediately as trans as lying, because, hi, your knowledge of anyone's genitalia is not more important than them protecting their safety. If someone trusts you enough to be real about their trans identity, the response should be either "cool, let's go" or "oh, snap, that's really not my bag, but thank you for your honesty".
A couple months ago I started sobbing hysterically in the shower just from THINKING about a Taylor Swift song. It was the first day of my period. This is why I am never having bio-babies :(
@elysian fields I... yes and no? Obviously people can get really fixated on anything, and balance is important. But sex is also pretty important! It's one of the major ways (most of us) form our serious, primary emotional bonds; it's one of the most deeply-ingrained natural drives possible; it's a free, easy way to feel better physically and mentally. I don't know, I think sex is a pretty big deal, and in a culture that has a long history of repression of sexual desires (ESPECIALLY non-normative desires or the desires of anyone but straight white men, which often gets conflated into "normative"), I don't see anything wrong with people stepping forward to encourage others to own and value their sexuality. I don't think the answer is "find other things and get over it", but "find someone who values it in the same way you do, or will let you have space to keep it as a value in your life".
@leon.saintjean I think the point (whether or not Dan Savage is actually making this - the article is a little creepy and reductionist) is that we need to learn to work WITH our human impulses, not bottle them up and let them explode. A natural desire is to resort to violence when angry, for example, so let's work on finding ways to channel that anger appropriately into art or kickboxing or baking or whatever the fuck. A natural desire is to fuck everything that moves, so let's find ways to deal with that, be it an honest commitment to monogamy (and open conversation with your partner about the desires - after all, you're supposed to be able to discuss your frustrations or anger with your partner, right?) or nonmonogamy in varying shades.
It's not about drawing guidelines from what is, but about applying a general set of guidelines to things that will go on being no matter what we do.
@likethestore Eek, I think I misread your comment - I was coming to the defense of the friend described in the article, and not the author, who I def. judged a little myself. Sorry for rantin' :)
@likethestore I wasn't particularly bothered? I mean, this is probably my personal bias showing combined with the lack of authorial details, but there are plenty of folks with perfectly valid medical reasons for being high as balls 24/7. My boyfriend is one of them - aside from helping with his crushing depression/anxiety, weed also does wonders for his chronic stomach issues - and he is actually far more functional stoned than not. I wouldn't want him smoking a jay in plain view of any future kids we may have (GOD FORBID), but if he snuck off occasionally to "take his meds", yeah, I would vastly prefer that to him being a miserable vomiting wreck.
So glad that many someones already beat me to dried cherries (THEY ARE TOO GOOD TO BE DESCRIBED BY MERE NUMBERS) but how has no one else mentioned dried pears yet?! They're tasty! They look like lady-parts! Peaaaaars!
@RK Fire JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I KNOW.