Interesting that Buddhism helped the author. I started reading Pema Chodron after my last break-up and it has helped me a lot. (Ironically, my ex is the one who introduced me to her.) There's a lot in Buddhism about acceptance, about abandoning the hope that you're going to wake up one day as this super together woman who's going to get things right in her life. You are who you are and you might as well start living life as yourself. The more you think about it, the more freeing it is. Also, being kind to yourself - treating yourself as if you were your own child who is struggling. I'm still working on this, but I think I'm less anxious now than I otherwise would have been.
@Jenn@twitter So so so sorry. This sucks so majorly bad. And having an abusive partner is so isolating b/c he wants it to be that way. Lean on your friends. Let them care for you and help you have fun even when you don't feel like it. It will be emotionally difficult to be alone for a while, but you can look forward to the calm and serenity that will wash over you after being without him for a couple months. Take care of yourself, okay? Best of luck to you.
So, after deciding I definitely don't want to get back together with my ex, I think it's time to start dating again. But where does one meet single dudes (30-40) in a big city? Is OKCupid my only option? I will do OKC, but I want other options too. I work with mostly women. I start volunteering with teenagers in a few weeks, but I'm not exactly doing that b/c lots of single guys are doing it. Help!
@SmartCookie I don't either, but this kind of hits it on the nose. My ex-bf is the same sign as me and he contacted me this week: "Mercury will go retrograde in your romance / creativity house from October 21 to November 10. This suggests that the whole month will be mired in possible miscommunications, so go the extra mile to be understood clearly, especially in your personal life. Mercury will retrograde in Scorpio, in your fifth house of true love, which makes me wonder if you are planning to reunite with a former lover. This actually would be a good time to be back in touch with a former sweetheart if you are still in love. Try to find out if the other person would be happy to hear from you before you call. You need to be relatively sure about this, or re-contacting could produce a comedy of errors or only open up an old scab."
SCAB OFFICIALLY OPENED.
@stonefruit He's pretty terrible. I would sell my first born to go to a Smiths reunion concert, but I know it will never happen b/c he is THE WORST. And even if it was going to happen, he would probably get pissy and walk off stage in the first 10 minutes.
@cabber Maybe some chili or soup (make the stock from scratch?) and some home-baked bread?
Who else is feeling that MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE IN A MAJOR MAJOR WAY? OMG, this week, you guys.
"My techniques guarantee male orgasm."
"Science is whatever we want it to be."
@S. Elizabeth I think those are all great questions, and I think you can probably access that research at the library. That comment wasn't directed at you specifically, it was addressing the original post in the thread - the suspicion that the recommendations for women were sort of fudged based on the findings for men.