By Emby on Friday Open Thread
So, I've been offered a position at San Diego State University. And I think I'm going to take it.
yeah, it's so hard to fathom how you can share all these experiences that you think are so special with your one special person and then they can turn right around and get that from someone else, without even missing a beat. sigghhh...i did what jinxie said though this weekend and was really good to myself. i even tried to flirt with someone! it was awkward! i'm...not quite ready. ha.
hey, we are the same kind of. solidarity hug. he totally turned off when i really needed him! wtf was that about, right? it's okay, we get our breath back, we treat ourselves right, we try again later. life!
@iceberg I no longer have grandmothers (or, sadly, my mother) but this reminds me of a time some years ago when my mom, her sister (my aunt) and I spent an afternoon with my great Aunt Winnie, my grandmother's sister, who was in her late 90s.
She regaled us with stories of how she and my grandma came from County Sligo to the US on a boat. On impulse, they decided to go all the way to Michigan, instead of disembarking in Canada as planned, because of some fun people on the boat.
Technically, they were illegal immigrants and a fellow they met at the Gaelic League turned them in (somehow they worked it out and stayed). But I vividly remember her saying, in her still-thick brogue, still deeply annoyed after many decades, "I'd never trust a Kerry man after that!"
Related: Saturday I am going to my husband's grandmother's 100th birthday party...
@iceberg I basically interviewed my grandma every night for a week one summer. We were both staying at my uncle & aunt's, and every night after dinner just my gma & I would stay the table with our hot chocolate and ginger snaps, and she would tell me about being separated from her sisters in Scotland during WWII when they were all sent out to the country, or how the manager at a fast food place she worked at when her kids were young was coming on to her, so she "belted him!" And then got fired.
I should have recorded it, or written everything down. But it still means so much to me. I miss you, Betty!
I think my favorite part of this is how blase she is about everything, during a time when feminism was a Big Deal. She's just like, "Yeah, I figured I would do whatever seemed like a good idea to me at the time, and be a generally excellent person, and enjoy whatever turns my life took. Worked out pretty good."
"But what about other people's expectations?"
" . . . I don't think I understand the question."
I aspire to be this lady in my life.
Feeling: The bittersweet sadness that occurs several months after you break up with a good, but ultimately not good enough partner, and are enjoying the lightness of casual sex a bit too much, and you realize you don't miss the ex nearly as much as you think you should, and maybe not at all.
How to eat: Thick, dark coffee, with lots of sugar, sweet and gritty, like the liason with your caller from last night. Paired with a brownie from the coffee shop on your street.
By Shara on Friday Open Thread
@chevyvan Adrift is hard, but it gets easier. It'll take time, and it will certainly suck for a while, but keep reminding yourself that in the long term, this is the right thing. I've been feeling adrift for two years, since my divorce, but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm unhappy. It's going to be a different future than you had planned, but there are definitely good times ahead. Oh, and wine.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I have no idea why, but something about this made me tear up a little. That's lovely.
@chevyvan You know, as long as you're not drifting toward the edge of a waterfall or whirlpool, I think it's OK to float along. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, it's better than kicking into drive too fast or going in reverse. So if it's safe, I say drift along and, as my pals the Be Good Tanyas say, keep it light enough to travel.
@chevyvan You live, you learn, you move on, you get happy. Hopefully you'll be able to learn from this what you do and do not want in the next relationship, and you'll make it happen. But I'm sorry that this has all happened, and I hope that you are doing okay with it all. Good thing there's wine. (Or whatever you enjoy...)