@SouthernSatine I'm a PhD who reads tons of heavy/sciency stuff for work and needs a break when I'm reading for pleasure. I've read and enjoyed some Jennifer Weiner books (hey Jen! Looks like you're reading the comments), and yes, they are fun. Are they the best books ever? No. A lot of them are relatable (that's key!) wish fulfillment. But I'm much less likely to put down a book scratching my head wondering what the fuss is all about reading popular fiction than with literary fiction, and it's obvious from her interviews that Weiner knows EXACTLY what she's doing (and laughing all the way to the bank).
I have a close relative who has a surprisingly similar diagnosis to your husband's diagnosis. The docs don't know where the cancer originated, but it has spread, and praying for a miracle is her only recourse.
The doctors offered her chemo, but both oncologists (she got a 2nd opinion) made clear that chemo would make her sick and would be unlikely to prolong her life. She has decided against further treatment. But they did offer it to her, and told her that she could change her mind if she wanted too.
I am so sorry you were left out of this discussion, no matter what the doctors told your husband. If you don't know how your husband came to this decision, there is no way I can presume to know. I only hope that you can find some peace. I am terribly sorry about your husband. You are not alone.
This is beautiful and perfect.
"Our encounter revived some small part of that girl I used to be, who was eager, spirited, who wanted everything, in that way, as an adult, you begin to think is foolish."
So many feelings and tears reading this. And it's comforting to know that Bill Murray kind of *is* his character in Lost in Translation a little bit. Beautiful essay. Thanks.
This is so relevant to my life right now! My PT wants me doing pull-ups for my neck issues. She said it's a really good exercise for women. When I was going to PT on the regular, I had a cute, muscular trainer to assist me. Then they graduated me and I was on my own at the gym. I thought the pull-up machine was a Godsend. Clearly, I'm just cheating myself by relying on that 100lbs of counter-weight (I'm about 175). I guess I need to get tough. It's just so embarassing to do it on my own! Currently, this is how it goes:
1. Grab onto bar
2. Jump up (rather than pull up) until chin is above bar
3. Slowly begin lowering myself down
4. Free fall, legs flailing when I get about halfway down
Is this how you started? How do I make progress?
@Leslie Popplewell That's the one thing that took me out of Friday Night Lights (though I still loved it). The show basically pretended that cell phones didn't exist and people would just SHOW UP at each others homes to have meaningful conversations. I'm pretty sure even the poors in Dillon would have had cell phones at that point (well, maybe not Grandma Saracen).
I dated someone who had the series on DVD and we rewatched a few seasons in their entirety last year. It was different than watching reruns b/c nothing was cut out and I don't think they show every episode in syndication. The things that struck me were 1). A lot of the show holds up. Definitely not all, but a lot. 2) Much of the material still feels provocative. 3) The humor is darker than I remembered (see, specifically, those episodes that don't get aired in syndication as much) 4) I couldn't believe that, in it's heyday - when I was approx 12-16 years old - that it was my favorite show! It's most definitely by adults, for adults, but my little brother and I were absolutely nuts for it. Go figure!
I hope you enjoy watching it!
AHP, I love your writing and your scholarly perspective, and I can't fault you one bit for jumping the academic ship. I am a fellow PhD working as research staff at a uni and thinking about a similar leap for a decent salary. I'm particularly scared, not necessarily b/c of the "selling out" stuff, but because it seems like once I take the leap I can never come back to academia (if I want to). Any thoughts on this?
@Brunhilde Me too!
@Kalorama_Kat I've come around to Hole in the last couple years. I always sooooorta liked their stuff, but was so annoyed with their aesthetic that I couldn't get past it. Now I just play them really loud while I'm on the treadmill (as Courtney Love intended).