"Our encounter revived some small part of that girl I used to be, who was eager, spirited, who wanted everything, in that way, as an adult, you begin to think is foolish."
So many feelings and tears reading this. And it's comforting to know that Bill Murray kind of *is* his character in Lost in Translation a little bit. Beautiful essay. Thanks.
This is so relevant to my life right now! My PT wants me doing pull-ups for my neck issues. She said it's a really good exercise for women. When I was going to PT on the regular, I had a cute, muscular trainer to assist me. Then they graduated me and I was on my own at the gym. I thought the pull-up machine was a Godsend. Clearly, I'm just cheating myself by relying on that 100lbs of counter-weight (I'm about 175). I guess I need to get tough. It's just so embarassing to do it on my own! Currently, this is how it goes:
1. Grab onto bar
2. Jump up (rather than pull up) until chin is above bar
3. Slowly begin lowering myself down
4. Free fall, legs flailing when I get about halfway down
Is this how you started? How do I make progress?
@Leslie Popplewell That's the one thing that took me out of Friday Night Lights (though I still loved it). The show basically pretended that cell phones didn't exist and people would just SHOW UP at each others homes to have meaningful conversations. I'm pretty sure even the poors in Dillon would have had cell phones at that point (well, maybe not Grandma Saracen).
I dated someone who had the series on DVD and we rewatched a few seasons in their entirety last year. It was different than watching reruns b/c nothing was cut out and I don't think they show every episode in syndication. The things that struck me were 1). A lot of the show holds up. Definitely not all, but a lot. 2) Much of the material still feels provocative. 3) The humor is darker than I remembered (see, specifically, those episodes that don't get aired in syndication as much) 4) I couldn't believe that, in it's heyday - when I was approx 12-16 years old - that it was my favorite show! It's most definitely by adults, for adults, but my little brother and I were absolutely nuts for it. Go figure!
I hope you enjoy watching it!
AHP, I love your writing and your scholarly perspective, and I can't fault you one bit for jumping the academic ship. I am a fellow PhD working as research staff at a uni and thinking about a similar leap for a decent salary. I'm particularly scared, not necessarily b/c of the "selling out" stuff, but because it seems like once I take the leap I can never come back to academia (if I want to). Any thoughts on this?
@Brunhilde Me too!
@Kalorama_Kat I've come around to Hole in the last couple years. I always sooooorta liked their stuff, but was so annoyed with their aesthetic that I couldn't get past it. Now I just play them really loud while I'm on the treadmill (as Courtney Love intended).
Interesting that Buddhism helped the author. I started reading Pema Chodron after my last break-up and it has helped me a lot. (Ironically, my ex is the one who introduced me to her.) There's a lot in Buddhism about acceptance, about abandoning the hope that you're going to wake up one day as this super together woman who's going to get things right in her life. You are who you are and you might as well start living life as yourself. The more you think about it, the more freeing it is. Also, being kind to yourself - treating yourself as if you were your own child who is struggling. I'm still working on this, but I think I'm less anxious now than I otherwise would have been.
@Jenn@twitter So so so sorry. This sucks so majorly bad. And having an abusive partner is so isolating b/c he wants it to be that way. Lean on your friends. Let them care for you and help you have fun even when you don't feel like it. It will be emotionally difficult to be alone for a while, but you can look forward to the calm and serenity that will wash over you after being without him for a couple months. Take care of yourself, okay? Best of luck to you.
So, after deciding I definitely don't want to get back together with my ex, I think it's time to start dating again. But where does one meet single dudes (30-40) in a big city? Is OKCupid my only option? I will do OKC, but I want other options too. I work with mostly women. I start volunteering with teenagers in a few weeks, but I'm not exactly doing that b/c lots of single guys are doing it. Help!