@supernintendochalmers I kind of WANT to sympathize with the kids because LW's house sounds kind of like my grandmother's house (fancy non-child-friendly furniture, lots of breakables, nothing for children to do) and I spent many a day there slowly dying of boredom and getting scolded for putting my (CLEAN! I took my shoes off inside and wore them outside!) feet on the furniture.
At the same time, though, it sounds like the parents were useless and the kids were out of control. So that sucks. Like I said elsewhere, if I had called an adult stupid to that adult's face at 9 years old, I would have been on time-out FOREVER. Also wtf, if the parents know their kid likes certain foods/drinks, maybe they should do a grocery run. I know when *I*, age 31, stay with people I ask them if we can go to a grocery store so I can buy the stuff I like for breakfast.
Really though it sounds like hosting people with kids at LW's home is a miserable time for LW AND the kids, and in the interest of not torturing herself OR her friends' kids she should maybe not do that anymore. I think the only reason the parents weren't miserable is that they sound terminally oblivious.
@Lily Rowan I have to say that if at 9 years old I had called an adult stupid to that adult's face, I would have been on time-out until I was 10 years old. Shit, if I'd done that at 4-5 years old I would have been very, very sorry in an age-appropriate-punishment manner probably involving sincere apologies to whoever I called the name and lengthy time-outs and loss of something I liked a lot.
I did, however, have fairly strict parents? I guess? idk.
@frigwiggin I have so many items in my house that would result in an ER visit if ingested by a child that I think I would just have heart failure on the spot if someone tried to bring a kid in here without holding their hand 100% of the time. I have bleach, draino, and a smorgasbord of prescription medication in easily accessible cupboards. I have lost track of more pairs of scissors than most people own. There is probably a box cutter under the sofa or something. My place is not set up for children to be present.
Mixed blessing: I also live in a tiny one-bedroom apartment, so ain't nobody willing to stay with me except for broke, single 20somethings who don't mind sleeping on the floor.
@iceberg Alternately, Netflix? Because Netflix is basically an INFINITE FONT OF CARTOONS for $8/month, assuming you have something that is capable of transmitting Netflix to your television.
On Get It, Girl
@whizz_dumb We had this plucky group of young people in brightly-colored tshirts who did skits and then talked to us very earnestly about how they were either waiting for marriage or were "born-again virgins" and USED to be misguided people who had the sex but had recommitted themselves to Jesus and were now waiting for marriage. Also some very earnest discussion of not doing anything before marriage except hugging and holding hands so as not to be tempted (in retrospect I'm pretty sure the guy in that couple was very deep in the closet. In the back. Behind the coats).
The only really weird thing about it was I went to public school, so I'm not really sure how they got away with it. I did, however, go to public school in a very conservative religious town, so we had de facto abstinence only education. Basically all we learned about birth control was that it didn't always work (and also that condoms didn't prevent the spread of HIV, which I didn't know was a lie until I was IN MY TWENTIES) and that if we had premarital sex we would get all the STDs and get pregnant and DIE and also everyone would think we were whores and no one would ever love us.
@Manchester Tart On the plus side all these things were said by People I Knew To Be Assholes, and also I have a sick sense of humor, so mostly it's just kind of funny to me? I got mad about some of the subtle stuff, like the people who stopped inviting me to things because they couldn't cope with me continuing to acknowledge I'd had a brother and he died (I lost a few friends to "how dare you admit that people die in public"), but the shocking crassness and insensitivity was just. So extreme I couldn't be offended.
My brother died under mysterious police-investigation-inducing circumstances several years back, and my family basically has a collection of Incredibly Insensitive Shit That Came Out Of People's Mouths, including:
"Wow, really? You should tell me everything you know, I watch a lot of CSI, I'm really into that kind of thing!" (TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE SAID THIS TO ME. TWO. THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE THAT TACTLESS ON THIS EARTH.)
"Well, at least he didn't live with you anymore." (My dad's mom actually said this to him.)
(After handing my mom a coupon for $1 off a drink at Starbucks) "This will make you feel better!"
Also I have this lurking fear that the reason it took me 4 years to get my boyfriend's mom warmed up to me is that when she asked if she could talk to me on the phone the day after my brother died, I said no. Well, I said "Maybe later" and it never happened. It was a totally legitimate decision at the time, but I wonder if she felt totally rejected and that's why things were prickly for years and years.
@muralgirl Yeah seriously unless your ideal life course is "move to 3 or 4 different universities in places where most people do not want to live, trying to get a tenure-track position, and then go quietly insane when you are up for tenure" do not get a PhD in the humanities.
I say this as someone who got an MA in a social science, having decided the PhD was not for me (against the wishes of my advisor, at least -- she wanted to keep me), and has been unsuccessfully looking for work since August. My MA doesn't qualify me for any jobs but makes me overqualified for many.
I also say this as someone whose depression is rapidly spiraling out of control because I busted ass for years to get a degree that has turned out to be a terrible idea and am interpreting my continued joblessness as commentary on my value as a human being.
I mean if it still seems like an awesome idea after all this, go for it, but if you have a little nagging doubt, DO NOT DO IT.
@sophia_h Honestly I found it didn't really go anywhere? Like, I got to the end and was like, okay, I kind of feel like everyone is exactly where they were before and nobody learned anything. A lot of Zadie Smith's characters are very problematic people, but in most of her books they at least have an arc.
My instinct is to say that if you're a quarter of the way in you know exactly what you're getting, so... take that as you will, I suppose?
@Little Miss Bossy He gives a passing mention to a large inheritance. Also, he wrote one book that was then made into a movie and a TV series, which I think also helps.