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By Beaker on Friday Open Thread

@olivebee My favorite was when I kept getting a super annoying ad for "the perfect wedding veil." I don't remember why it was so annoying, but I stupidly clicked the little X on it so it would never return. It was immediately replaced with an ad saying "CITY HALL CIVIL UNIONS FOR LESBIANS." Yes facebook, if I'm a college student who doesn't want a $500 veil, I am obviously no longer straight.

Posted on May 24, 2013 at 4:26 pm 6

By Jinxie on The To-Do List Pie

@hahahaha, ja. Instead of cleaning, just get a few Fraggles and change your name to Marjory:
the Great Trashheap

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 3:51 pm 11

By lora.bee on Why Did You Lose Him?

@Barton "OHHHHHHHHH WE ARE GONNA HAVE ANTS"

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 3:13 pm 9

By ironhoneybee on The To-Do List Pie

@Scandyhoovian What's really terrible is when you're old, and that one or two. or, honestly, like, four or five rogue chin hairs start to turn white, just exactly at the same time as your eyesight starts to fail. Makes plucking well nigh impossible. Sometimes, I don't notice them, and then the sunlight will hit me a certain way when I'm looking in the bathroom mirror, and it's all, Hello, Gandalf.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 3:03 pm 7

By hahahaha, ja. on The To-Do List Pie

@hahahaha, ja. oh, and therapy

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 2:43 pm 2

By grizzle_bees on The To-Do List Pie

@shart_attack When the BF and I were driving on the highway last weekend I saw a sign and exclaimed "OOH, A DOG SALE?!" It said "Dig Safe."

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 2:42 pm 13

By Scandyhoovian on Why Did You Lose Him?

I could have sworn he was in my purse where I usually put him, but I guess I must have put him down somewhere when I walked inside with the groceries.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 11:58 am 24

By frigwiggin on Bad Haircuts From a Friend's Good Hairdresser

Oh god, this is like when you love a movie and you sit down to watch it with a friend, and you keep looking over at their face to see if they're laughing at the right parts, if they're getting it, and you laugh louder to overcompensate and telegraph just how much you love this movie, and it gets to that one part and you realize, which you never realized before, that that one part is kind of racist/ableist/sexist and you're laughing and it's awkward and it reflects badly on you, like now your friend things you think this bigoted thing is funny but you just never noticed and you oversold it and they're going to think you're a freak and you go to the kitchen under the guise of getting drinks before your heart stops.

No? Just me?

Posted on May 22, 2013 at 4:35 pm 40

By Oh, squiggles on Relax ... Into Love

@fondue with cheddar

Him- "Hey, hon, when are you going to do the dishes?"
Her- "As soon as doing them makes me prettier! Right now, I just can't afford the stress that comes from worrying about baked on grease, as it will make me more unattractive to you, so I won't be doing them any time soon"

Posted on May 22, 2013 at 4:00 pm 11

By iceberg on There Might Be a Pill For That

@JessicaLovejoy Oh! are we all doing our flashcards? OK: my (memory-foam-topped, queen size) bed with no one else in it; man in suit; burly male forearms; double cheeseburger.

Posted on May 22, 2013 at 2:12 pm 3