By Beaker on Friday Open Thread
@olivebee My favorite was when I kept getting a super annoying ad for "the perfect wedding veil." I don't remember why it was so annoying, but I stupidly clicked the little X on it so it would never return. It was immediately replaced with an ad saying "CITY HALL CIVIL UNIONS FOR LESBIANS." Yes facebook, if I'm a college student who doesn't want a $500 veil, I am obviously no longer straight.
By Jinxie on The To-Do List Pie
@hahahaha, ja. Instead of cleaning, just get a few Fraggles and change your name to Marjory:
@Barton "OHHHHHHHHH WE ARE GONNA HAVE ANTS"
@Scandyhoovian What's really terrible is when you're old, and that one or two. or, honestly, like, four or five rogue chin hairs start to turn white, just exactly at the same time as your eyesight starts to fail. Makes plucking well nigh impossible. Sometimes, I don't notice them, and then the sunlight will hit me a certain way when I'm looking in the bathroom mirror, and it's all, Hello, Gandalf.
@hahahaha, ja. oh, and therapy
@shart_attack When the BF and I were driving on the highway last weekend I saw a sign and exclaimed "OOH, A DOG SALE?!" It said "Dig Safe."
I could have sworn he was in my purse where I usually put him, but I guess I must have put him down somewhere when I walked inside with the groceries.
Oh god, this is like when you love a movie and you sit down to watch it with a friend, and you keep looking over at their face to see if they're laughing at the right parts, if they're getting it, and you laugh louder to overcompensate and telegraph just how much you love this movie, and it gets to that one part and you realize, which you never realized before, that that one part is kind of racist/ableist/sexist and you're laughing and it's awkward and it reflects badly on you, like now your friend things you think this bigoted thing is funny but you just never noticed and you oversold it and they're going to think you're a freak and you go to the kitchen under the guise of getting drinks before your heart stops.
No? Just me?
@fondue with cheddar
Him- "Hey, hon, when are you going to do the dishes?"
Her- "As soon as doing them makes me prettier! Right now, I just can't afford the stress that comes from worrying about baked on grease, as it will make me more unattractive to you, so I won't be doing them any time soon"
@JessicaLovejoy Oh! are we all doing our flashcards? OK: my (memory-foam-topped, queen size) bed with no one else in it; man in suit; burly male forearms; double cheeseburger.