1. This is deeply wrong.
2. This is super funny and I love it.
@Chloe 'Pidge' Spirals@facebook Did someone say balut?
Sweating and swearing and inebriation
Destroying a city and its reputation
Sanity tenuously held by a string
These are a few of my favorite things.
OH AND ALSO CRACK I FUCKING LOVE CRACK.
@MaryJReno my roomate's [NAME??] half-sister [IS FATHER REMARRIED OR MOTHER? MAY BE GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABOUT WORK-LIFE BALANCE] makes $74/hour [IS THIS CONFIRMED] on the computer [WHAT MODEL? NEW COMPUTER? PROBABLY MAC AIR??]. She has been fired from work [WHY WAS SHE FIRED? DETAILS] for five months ["FUNEMPLOYED" MAYBE] but last month her paycheck was $21376 [PAID EVERY MONTH? BIWEEKLY?] just working on the computer for a few hours [PER DAY? IS SHE A WEBCAM GIRL???? DON'T BURY THIS LEDE]. you could look here WWW.Ring77.COm [WE NEED A BETTER LOOKING URL]
@Sheila Albertson ...and you turned in the piece six months ago but the editor just got to it now. And you won't be paid until 2017.
This is a great start. But could you make it voicier?
@juney Ditto. You are a legend, Sarah Miller. Only thing missing is a request at the end for the revise within 24 hours... even though the issue doesn't ship for another 6 weeks.
By silly*goose on Ask a Glutton: I Need to Trick Everyone Into Thinking I'm an Adult This Thanksgiving
My secret gravy trick is to make good stock ahead of time, and then heat it and whisk in beurre manie at the last possible minute. I guess it's not really "gravy", then, but it's a medium-thickness, creamy, meat-ish sauce that reads as gravy and is ZERO STRESS. And even if you don't have good stock already made, you can deglaze the roasting pan with white wine or tetra-pack chicken broth of whatevs, and it's still pretty low-stress.
@ru_ri - I do a really big friendsgiving every even numbered year (in odd numbered years I just hang out in bars by myself - it sounds kind of depressing, but you end up hearing fascinating stories, and people have a really nice spirit when you talk to strangers) and I'm very much pro-spatchcock.
I saw someone explain once that the middle of your oven is not quite as hot as the edges, so the dark meat (which has a higher temperature to be 'done' than white mean) is on the outside in the hotzone, and the sensitive breast meat is in the cooler zone. Plus, because the whole thing cooks faster, the meat closer to the surface doesn't dry out as much.
As much as you lose that few minutes of cool carving, when you bring a plate full of delicious, super-moist turkey!
By A. Louise on Ask a Glutton: I Need to Trick Everyone Into Thinking I'm an Adult This Thanksgiving
@Elle Marie@twitter Seconded - make those mashed potatoes the night before (tonight!) too, pop 'em in a casserole, and then put them in the oven once the turkey comes out. I make mine w/ loads of butter and cream cheese and then thin them with a touch of milk, so when you pop them in the oven they puff up just a bit like some kind of magical mashed potato souffle and all the lumps seem to melt away.
Seconded on the stuffing too - once for sanity, second for health reasons especially if you're new to the turkey game - you don't want uncooked turkey juice on your stuffing that could make people sick.
Cook it on the side, and have it close at hand to stuff bites in your face in between gulps of wine so you don't get too drunk (just me? anyone? Stuffing is the centerpiece of my meal. Forget the turkey all together.)