@Jaya It's a very old column (look at the date in the URL!) so you're forgiven but my God, if ever there was a sign that Ask a Clean Person needs to return to The Hairpin ...! (I fantasize about this all the time.)
1. "I had a cup of coffee in my hands, you understand" is the only excuse to get out of anything ever
2. Patrice was CLEARLY the hotter sister?????
3. Eddie Murphy's braid at the beginning was LIT
4. MY FAVORITE FILM FUN FACT IS THAT JAMES EARL JONES AND MADGE SINCLAIR ALSO PLAYED THE KING AND QUEEN IN THE LION KING PEHLAKFPIP23L9EWUOFL
5. Not gonna lie, I want a jheri curl??????
6. WHY DOES NO ONE EVER TALK ABOUT HOW PATRICE PROBABLY FUCKED DARRYL THO???
7. I want all the necklaces in that movie plz contact me
8. McDowell's burgers sound a 100% better fuck seeds
9. It is here that I will mention that you are wrong, the Coming to America song is the catchiest song in the world and it will burrow inside yr head and never ever leave even when you are having sex wait what
10. CUBA IN THE BARBER SHOP.
11. "diseased rhinoceros pizzle" is my pet name for Jaya
12. did you know that the big dance scene when Akeem meets his first wife is just the THRILLER DANCE ALL SPED UP
13. "TO BE LOVED! TO BE LOVED!!!"
14. "and your friend too"
15. I was very jealous of those kids hanging out of the stoop who got to hear about Eddie Murphy's date with Lisa. I wanted a stoop!!!!!
16. the spoon/soup joke is the best joke to have ever been told ever
17. the scene where darryl's entire family leaves the soul glo juice on the couch is the best scene ever
18. "he's got his OWN MONEY"
omg i should go back to work
Loved this. Even though you've left me in a mild state of panic over not wearing concealer under my liquid liner (or at all). What's going to happen to me?!? Mommy?!?!?
@ru_ri like I know we're a Drake enthusiast blog but we may switch over to being Chris Rock stans in 2015, stay posted
Wait wait wait. Cooking dinner is basically like pulling a WHOLE OTHER SHIFT of work after the shift of work work you just finished. This defies possibility. Men continue to amaze.
I can't believe it! I thought only women were capable of using a stove, kind of like how only virgins can touch unicorns. Imagine my surprise when discovering that men can, and do, prepare food for themselves and their families! What an interesting new trend!
Why do I keep clicking on these lifestyle articles from NYT. Why.
@ru_ri black tea with milk [and sugar] is one of the most pleasing, warming, and comforting things in the world.
billy crystal's former face or like his face he has now that he is an old person?
the only thing i like about potatoes is they remind me of vin diesel's glorious head.
Jia. We <3 u.
Thank you for writing about everything you wanted to write about. Thank you for being intelligent and funny and not backing down when the occasional internet stranger tried to mess with you or the Hairpin. Thank you for helping to keep this place up as a little corner of the big, bad Internet where I could hide and laugh at things and not worry about what anyone thinks.
Speaking of which, hairpin/awl media, you should consider supporting https/SSL and, holy shit, you should definitely not send passwords in clear text like you're doing.