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On How Many Types of Millennials Are There?

@tofuswalkman BRING ME THE POTATO HEAD OF VIN von DIESEL

Posted on October 14, 2014 at 1:56 pm 1

On How Many Types of Millennials Are There?

True story from yesterday: After a disheartening shift at the phone bank of my local non-fascist Congressional candidate, my mom and I were talking in the car, and she said, "Well I for one have the most hope for the, whaddayacallems, Milleniums."
"Millenials?"
"Yeah. They really seem to be able to get things done!"
Unspoken subtext being that our sorry asses in Gen X are as useless as we've ever been. Which I really can't argue with. I can't even get my own taxes done on time, much less jump-start political change.

From what I've seen, though, we are also potato fans!

PS Jazmine next time I am in New York I am going to bring you some of my granola because it is THE BEST and definitely a good addition to an all-potato diet.

Posted on October 14, 2014 at 1:55 pm 0

On I'm Never Cooking Again (Not That I Ever Cooked Much to Begin With, So There's Been Very Little Change)

@jazmine Sorry for the manifesto! I guess I have Feelings about cooking. You, by the way, are wonderful, and you're welcome to dinner at my house anytime.

Posted on September 30, 2014 at 5:38 pm 0

On I'm Never Cooking Again (Not That I Ever Cooked Much to Begin With, So There's Been Very Little Change)

It must have started, I think, with cinnamon toast, around age eight. Hovering over our temperamental old toaster and pulling out the toast when it was the proper shade of brown, then spreading just the right amount of butter on the hot toast. Next, applying exactly the right amount of cinnamon sugar (already pre-mixed by me so that the ratio of cinnamon to sugar was correct)—enough that all available butter would be absorbed, with a little sugar to spare, but not so much as to overpower the other flavors or fall off the toast. Retreating to enjoy this perfect creation in solitary splendor, preferably over a book. This was the beginning of my life in cooking: manipulating food to satisfy my own tastes and none other.

I think the power of being able to cook is mischaracterized, or at least underestimated. In Sarah Miller’s essay, it’s presented as a means of gaining love or respect (see also: Engagement Chicken). And of course, this is doomed to failure, because, as the author rightly points out, some people just ain’t give a damn what they are eating or who made it. I feel so sorry for people who get trapped in this cooking paradigm: “Bob didn’t like my waffles! I have failed!” The truth is (if you like waffles), all this means is MORE FOR YOU.

The real power of cooking is this: when, as a young (female) person, you have little control over what happens to you, when friends, parents, and teachers lie to you and cause havoc in your life to suit their own needs, at the very least you can assure yourself of eating something that you know you will like, without having to rely on anyone else. That is why I began cooking, and often why I still cook. When I am upset, or I’m having trouble finding a solution to a problem, I find myself in the kitchen. I can’t do much about the computer breakdown or my boss’s inexplicable temper tantrum, but I damn sure can make a righteous apple pie.

Look, if you don’t want to cook, don’t cook! In no way does this reflect poorly on your worth as a wife or a woman or a person in general; likewise, the ease with which I cook doesn’t make me a better human. But please don’t assume that cooking is fraught with the same associations for me as is for you. And don’t assume that all women who cook are doing it as a performance of gender expectations. My hands, which yesterday made a near-perfect pie crust, can also knock a person out, or break their joints, or wield a sword that will cut them in half. They can rebuild a carburetor (an obsolete achievement these days) or weld a piece of steel. I generally make people nervous. But if I like them, they can share my food.

Posted on September 30, 2014 at 4:23 pm 3

On Carry That Weight: The Revival of Feminist Performance Art

Holy shit this is good. Beautifully written and substantial and important. Thank you.

Posted on September 29, 2014 at 4:04 pm 0

On Notes from a Liar

This is amazing, a really wonderful piece. And reading it, I was hit by flashes of self-recognition that were most discomfiting. Looking our lies in the face, calling them by name, and parsing their function is unwilling work.

Posted on September 12, 2014 at 9:13 am 1

On #Ferguson

Jia, thank you for keeping both this issue (WHY does this keep happening) and this particular incident in the light. This fucking country, man...something has to change. We have to change.

Posted on August 12, 2014 at 10:20 am 2

On OK, Cupid?

@adorable-eggplant Yeah, I was like, bay leaves =! the Trojan war. But this story was excellent.

Posted on July 10, 2014 at 10:57 am 0

On OK, Cupid?

I quit OK Cupid after the third unsolicited message that said "No wonder your [sic] single." I still can't fathom the motivation for that. Just trolling for a response, maybe.

Also guys who expected me to get explicit about my sexual desires and experiences sight unseen. And tons of borderline-negging comments. Maybe it was my profile, or my age, or just where I live, but the signal-to-noise ratio was just too low to make it worthwhile.

Posted on July 10, 2014 at 10:55 am 0

On Buzz Aldrin on the moon landing: "We didn't get to celebrate. Because we were out of town."

@stonefruit Yep, that's my suspicion as well. Since there seems to be no hope of having their comments deleted, I think I'm going to start replying to spambots with quotes from the great, out-of-print "How-to-do-it Book of Beekeeping" by Richard Taylor.

Posted on July 9, 2014 at 12:59 pm 1