Yes! I've used the Ian knot for ~10 years now, after seeing it on his site. I don't even remember how to tie my laces the old way anymore. Thanks Ian!
So much happened...
Went to UC Irvine for an interview, got offered a postdoc position. Haven't decided whether I'll accept yet...Do I really want to leave winters behind? (Probably.)
Thesis defense next week, constantly feeling queasy.
I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up and have it all be over and also I somehow have GTA5. Oh well.
Thanks for the replies everyone! I'm single and not particularly suburban by inclination, so maybe living in Irvine itself might not be for me, but it's good to know there are different types of towns around. I'll be there almost all week so I should have time to check it out fairly well. Oh, and the job I'm interviewing for is at UCI so maybe the campus area might be a bit different? Anyway, I'll post up my impressions on the next FOT if anyone cares to check them out!
But do you want to "love" it?
I'm heading to a job interview in Irvine, California next week! I feel like my chances are pretty good, but I'm trying not to get too excited about both having a job and moving somewhere warm from Toronto. I actually don't mind the winters here much, but it would be nice to be able to just up and go for a day-long bike ride whenever I feel like it without obsessively checking the weather.
So, people who live there or have lived there, what's it like?
The Dickies' version, of course.
@upupandaway Some people are people, and some people are adjective-people.
I've been observing and pondering this stuff for years, honestly it's kind of fun to talk about it. @MilesofMountains' brother sounds like many guys I know. I do think there is an element of desperation, especially for men in their mid- to late-20s who feel like they missed out on hook-up culture in college and want to 'make up for lost time'. On to the answers!
Many are quite open about it, even proud of it. Some will acknowledge they do it, but won't talk about specifics - maybe they're aware how dumb the techniques sound. One guy I know blatantly follows PUA advice (touching lower back, talking to the friend first etc.) but refuses to acknowledge he's ever heard of any of it. I guess he thinks admitting it will make him seem like less of a natural-born Lothario which, yeah, no.
They know and freely admit it's manipulative. Responses include "it's what you have to do", "but it works", and "you think women don't manipulate men?"
Most go in seeking to partake of the casual sex bacchanal that the cool people are having, and that has been heretofore denied them. Relationships are, at best, a distant goal. The results make for delicious irony: hitting on everyone in sight is a key belief of PUAs, which means these guys don't think about compatibility or even liking a girl's personality. Once they realize that the Roman orgies of their dreams are not forthcoming, they end up pining for a relationship and settling with whoever was last in line. Thus starts a generally poor pairing that wouldn't have happened if (speaking just from the guy's perspective) he was the least bit discriminating to begin with.
@hurts Based on my friends and acquaintances who do this:
Q. how long would they have to be single for?
A. Usually a few years
Q. Do they feel any shame going in?
A. Nope. They're usually hopeful/excited to have a clear, direct recipe for what to do.
Q. I wonder if it goes hand in hand with MRA culture, etc.
A. They're too young to deal with the alimony/custody issues often at the heart of MRAdom.
I know/am disappointed with lots of people into this stuff, and can probably answer most questions you might have.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose
You saved your dad's life! Amazing!