On [Discount] Valentine's Day Basket
I just stopped by to say that I correctly guessed "pekingese?" from "alien footstool"
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On Too Drunk to Be Bikini-Waxed
@redheadedtwit Uh-oh, should we have an Iowa City Hairpin meetup: you, me, and Drinky Sue? Who else lives in Iowa City?
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On Too Drunk to Be Bikini-Waxed
Iowa City is the city where I live! Also, I'm feeling very proud of myself for being able to parse the acronym.
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On Ask a Clean Person: Sprouting Windows, Moldy Teeth, and Dirty Tea
Mushrooms are actually just the fruitbodies of a fungus that has developed a network in the wood of your window ledge. Maybe you all are already aware, but a mushroom isn't like a little squishy tree growing autonomously - there's a whole other invisible organism producing the mushrooms. In order for the fungus to be in reproductive condition, that wood is probably pretty thoroughly and consistently damp and at least partially digested by the fungus. I would expect some extensive repairs might be in order.
I had mushrooms growing out from under a tub enclosure in a terrible apartment, and I never told my landlord - I'd just yank 'em out when they were showing the place to prospective renters (which took many, many times. really terrible apartment). I figured it was punishment enough to live there, why should I have to endure my bathroom getting torn out and re-done on top of everything? That was maybe one of the more irresponsible things I've done with other peoples' property.
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On What It's Like to Get a Biopsy
I had the same experience with the big wad falling out of me about three days post-colposcopy. I called the clinic and the gyn said she'd never heard of such a thing and to come in if I was in pain. I wasn't in pain, and wasn't excited to give the big hospital any more money, so I declined. After about an hour of googling I came across probably the same discussion board thread that the rest of you ended up at.
At my follow-up colpo this spring (no biopsy necessary this time!! I know peoples' bodies kick HPV on their own all the time, but I still can't believe my good fortune) I told the (different) gyn about my experience, and SHE said that she'd never heard of such a thing either. Were any of you ladies able to bring it up to your doctors? I just can't imagine how this could be happening to so many women but doctors don't have a clue - or are playing dumb for some reason. This might be misanthropic of me, but I presume neither of the gynecologists I saw are now warning women about what happened to me, even if a good number of them will end up having the same experience.
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On Terrible Pick-Up Lines
I only get hit on by strapping black youths in the weight room of the rec center. An early example -
Him: "Do you got a phone number?"
Me: "Yes, but I have a boyfriend."
Him: "Yeah? Well, I'm 19 years old," delivered as if this were an undeniable game-changer.
More recently -
Him, chasing after me down the hall: "Hey girl! You a personal trainer? Will you train me?"
Me: "I'm really not-"
Him: "-cuz I got shot in the spine a couple years ago, and I used to be paralyzed!"
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On Ask a Clean Person: Let's All Make... Our Beds
I want you to hear about my choices in bedclothes! I sleep between black Egyptian cotton fitted & flat sheets; I have a cheap black-on-black cotton duvet cover over a ratty old down-alternative medium weight comforter that has been chewed by my rabbit; on top I have an ivory four-pelt sheepskin rug that obviously sheds ivory fibers all over my black bedclothes but which has revolutionized midwest winter bedtime comfort; I have FIVE pillows, two of which stand upright against my mirrored headboard, two lay down flat and one lays centered on top of the other two; and I have a giant stuffed penguin that I spoon and wrap my arms around, ostensibly to keep my shoulders and neck in line while I sleep. The pillowcase that my face touches gets changed every few days because Adult Acne. The rest of the bedding gets washed every two weeks unless a gentleman visitor leaves his calling card. Otherwise I just tuck the penguin back into bed when I get up, and shake the sheets out/re-tuck the fitted sheet maybe once a week.
I want everyone to explain their bedding situations! Other peoples' beds are fascinating.