On Ask a Clean Person: Hard-Cleaning a Kitchen, a Very Special Episode
@Christina Williamson - Not really directed at yerself just a good segue...
All the 'nuffers who think hard cleaning yer kitchen is silly/boring/real work - the most fabulous motivator I have found by far?
No, not beer - but close! Check out a few episodes of HOARDERS. I guarantee you will be joyfully filling green hefty bags of crap whilst you scrub the shit (literally) of your kitchen!
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On Skipped Weddings, the Sex Talk, and Attracting the Attractive
@Caturday - Sorry, just read yer post - tell yer bitch bride friend to shove it!!! Bahhh!! (rage, froth, venom)...
Sorry - ahem - okay, pant, better now. Hon, don't ever think that you missed out or shoulda/coulda/woulda. If the only thing offered was condemation for not being there (ie no monetary assistance, compromise, etc.) then I think you made the right choice. As a recent bride, the entire refrain for our wedding became "you don't hold a wedding for yourselves, you do it for your family, friends, community" - not because we're utterly perfect people and that's how everybody ought to view it, but that's because it's how we felt - the longterm relationships we had/have with those involved are/is more inportant than any single dumb-ass "special day".
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On Skipped Weddings, the Sex Talk, and Attracting the Attractive
@Mandaline - let's break this down - $1000 - 1500 for flight, $800 - 1200 for hotel, $400 - 600 for meals, $100 - 300 for the dress, $100 - 200 for hair and makeup, and at least another $100 or so for the gift - FORGET accessories, passports and travel shots, the lost wages for those folks who ain't on salary, and if you've been living po' for some time the intense pressure to show up to one of these things with a proper wardrobe is enuff to make a girl cry. So we're looking at $2500 IF YOU ARE LUCKY and yer buds aren't going super high end. $100 bucks for a wedding? I fucking wish!! I typically end up dropping around $250 for the ones in town (btwn gift, transport, drinks, clothes etc.).
Again, I would suggest that if yer friends have any sense of decency they will totally undertsand if you can't make it. They might be disappointed, yes, but most brides are well aware of the fact that destination wedding means a number of "no, TY" on the RSVP's.
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On Skipped Weddings, the Sex Talk, and Attracting the Attractive
@prefer not to say - I had a bridesmaid situation just like this - had she just said when we asked her that she really didn't wanna, we could have made other arrangements. We asked her, she gladly accepted, and then the "buts" started. "But I refuse to wear a dress; I wanna wear pants", "But I don't have any cash for accessories/hair/makeup", "But I won't help with the planning cuz I'm busy/don't want to". etc. Bottom line is, when she agreed she had NO CLUE how much was really involved and long story short, just didn't feel that the event was worth that much effort on her part.
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On Skipped Weddings, the Sex Talk, and Attracting the Attractive
@allthecuteshit - I don't think you get it - as a recent bride even I think that a tab of LITERALLY $5000-6000 in orde to celebrate a SINGLE DAY as an attendee (forget bride/groom/immediate family member) is fucking insane UNLESS you have the $$$ falling out yer ass.
Quite frankly, most brides I've compared notes with who feel that some sunny beach is the only way to say "I do" understand that not everyone can make it.
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On Four-Person Marriage May Be the Best Marriage
Ahhh, fuck. Just when you thought "at least my great-great-great-grandparents didn't have to deal with this Jerry Springer style shit whilst dating/chasing lurve".
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On Frenemies and Enemends
Ahhh, too true! I think I personally fall into the third category, BUT with a caveat - I have NP talkin' shit 'cept where said shit could actually damage a persons rep or affect thier daily life.
Though that time that so-n'-so made THE WORST druken pass at a tottaly hot dude? I'll be telling that story to the other biddies in the old folks home!! EPIC.
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On What It's Like to Get a Biopsy
@teenie - No, I didn't get the advil advice, but found I was pretty good to go regardless. Either a cervix of steel or high pain tolerance threshold. I wasn't too sure what to expect but when I saw the dentist-looking chair with the the stirrups, I knew it'd prolly suck ballz. After the biopsy, I had to go get my bits lazered - I's got to watch the procedure on the screen for the first one - and of course began to laugh a lil' hysterically when the laser part began to crisp up my cervix like bacon. Which of course was making the nurse all nervous-like...ahhh, good times!
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On Bad Sex, Paying for the First Date, and Asking Out Your Barista
@Ella Quint - Kay, I've re-read the first Q/A and kinda see where A Lady is goin' with this - just not diggin' the implication that new sex is the only kind of good sex or that the quality of sex inevitably gets worse over the span of a relationship. No, I don't believe these assholes either who trumpet from the treetops that thier 20 year marriage to Mr. Perfect still produces mind-shattering orgasms daily
BUT
There is something to be said about doin' it with a person that you trust completely and love deeply - these two things definitley lend themselves to the -ahem- broadening of one's sexual horizons GIVEN that yeh ain't suffering from other issues within the relationship.
As for the who pays on the 1st date issue; hun, EVERYBODY has elaborate philosophies on EVERY topic - they're just there waiting for the asking!! And cutting down someone for having an opinion is kinda dull.
That being said, I actually agree with the financially strapped young man and found A Lady to be off the mark with the entire "all properly socialized chicks are expecting YOU to pay" thing - but this may have something to do with the fact that I live in another postal code/timezone/country than most of yous (no, not Maine; lil' furhter North my friends!). Here in da 'Peg, most of the ladies I've (informally) polled are all about the dutch.
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On Ask a Clean Person: The War on Bugs