This dude lives in Oakland, CA, works on environmental noise studies for money, plays baseball for fun, and is compelled to write sometimes.

By hotdog on Signs I Want You To Leave My House After I've Hosted You for Dinner

This could also be titled "Signs I am passive-aggressive, and not someone you should be spending your evenings with, anyway."

My list would be as follows:

1. I have said, "oh, I've had such a great time with you! I have to wake up early tomorrow, though, so I have to cut the evening a bit short. Can we do this again soon?"

Another intricate problem solved by saying what you mean.

Posted on March 20, 2014 at 5:01 pm 4

By JessicaLovejoy on Little Miss Misandrist

@Emma Carmichael The pages are hollowed out and it's just a knife?

Posted on September 24, 2013 at 2:44 pm 2

By lora.bee on The Stereotype Pie

@adorable-eggplant I actually saw a coupon for chocolate bars posted ON the period supplies shelves in a drug store. My friend & I did a slow clap.

Posted on September 19, 2013 at 4:36 pm 3

By adorable-eggplant on The Stereotype Pie

@elissa_what? Grocery stores: why not just go ahead and shelve them together? Give me what I want.

Posted on September 19, 2013 at 3:39 pm 5

By j-i-a on New Music: White Denim, Okkervil River, Julianna Barwick, The Blow

@yeah-elle yeah, me too. their new stuff sounds nothing like that. ugh, but at least it's still okkervil river

Posted on August 8, 2013 at 11:37 am 1

By yeah-elle on New Music: White Denim, Okkervil River, Julianna Barwick, The Blow

I know bands do what they want to do and grow and change and explore new sounds, but I kind of wish Okkervil River would just keep making music that sounds like Down the River of Golden Dreams.

Posted on August 8, 2013 at 11:34 am 2

By j-i-a on Interview with a Person Who Used to Be Paralyzed

@whizz_dumb nah that is just my editing trix, laura was very forthcoming that she knew the answer :)

Posted on July 24, 2013 at 12:45 pm 4

By iceberg on What Abortions Should Be Like: Melon, Maya Angelou, Swan Boats and Nothing Louder Than a Whisper

I mean, we ARE all reading The Toast, right? (if not, you should be)

Posted on July 17, 2013 at 12:26 pm 3

By Anninyn on Ask Baba Yaga: Will Lost Love Be Regained?

@sarah girl it does indeed. A better spam filter required?

Whereas I am certain my (dull but not spam) comments are invisible except to me. Am I invisible?

How about now?

Posted on July 9, 2013 at 11:36 am 1

By RNL on The Spinsterhood Pie

This weekend my boyfriend ignored me and played candy crush while I masturbated beside him. Is this a Bad Sign?

Posted on July 2, 2013 at 5:56 pm 15