This dude lives in Oakland, CA, works on environmental noise studies for money, plays baseball for fun, and is compelled to write sometimes.

On The Cider Report

Tasting the bitterness of the alcohol in my beverages is one of the many reasons I enjoy drinking. I could probably drink a pint of Angostura bitters.

Posted on June 4, 2014 at 12:58 pm 0

On Signs I Want You To Leave My House After I've Hosted You for Dinner

@tealily Friends or not, those aren't guests. Those are loiterers...and I'm familiar with those types of delinquents.

Posted on March 21, 2014 at 5:30 pm 0

On Did People Watch Doll & Em Last Night?

OHHHHH the doors ARE the sweatshirt. Finally.

Posted on March 20, 2014 at 3:47 pm 1

On Did People Watch Doll & Em Last Night?

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict hummus and muumuus are confusing words to glance-read together.

Posted on March 20, 2014 at 3:47 pm 0

On Successful Independent Businesswoman Laughing Alone With Salad

I want to to thank you for ones time due to this fantastic read!! I definitely savored every part of it and i also have you book marked to look at new stuff in your website (link to some bullshit)

Posted on February 10, 2014 at 4:00 pm 0

On The Best Time I Learned My Last Name Means Blow Job

@Bridget Palardy I still think it sounds grand and regal. My dirty mind gets selective.

Posted on January 16, 2014 at 2:27 pm 0

On 917 People Who Are Hotter Than Benedict Cumberbatch

This list is just the right length.

Posted on December 10, 2013 at 5:59 pm 0

On Girl, You Must Be...

"Girl, you must be a kitten because you are to bear kittens."
Fair enough.

Posted on November 19, 2013 at 4:17 pm 3

On The Areola Architect: Cathi Locati

@Onymous That guy sure is a distraction to this interesting piece. I was like, "what is this guy's deal?" then I noticed he's wearing a T-shirt that I am wearing right now that my buddy designed. It is a skull logo comprised entirely of a bunch of adorable little kittens. I get a lot of compliments.

Posted on October 11, 2013 at 2:47 pm 0

On Little Miss Misandrist

@hands_down My mom used to call me "slave boy".

Posted on September 24, 2013 at 5:02 pm 0