On Reflecting on Black Friday
@DrFeelGood For various reasons that I really don't have the energy to get into, I'm basically against all people who think everyone else should live by their personal moral standards.
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On Why, Rihanna?
@beanie What's the moral here? I'll tell you - don't listen to morning drive-time radio.
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On Why, Rihanna?
@Magpie Shinies You're not sorry.
"Please consider me in all your future editorial decisions. Thank you. Also, I have radiation sickness so please ask me about that."
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On You Have One New Death
A few years ago, an ex-girlfriend was murdered by the guy she left me for. I haven't been able to bring myself to remove her as a Facebook friend (we stayed friendly after the breakup, even as she grew less social and retreated into her abusive, paranoid relationship). Occasionally, my assortment of random Facebook pictures on my profile will show pictures she posted of us. It is difficult. On her birthday, Facebook tells me annually to leave a happy birthday message. That seems inappropriate.
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On Don't Be the Last Girl on Your Block Without a Freaky Cup
This is one of those things (those AWESOME things) where at first glance, I'm all like, "pfft...that was made by an ARTIST? *I* could do something like that."
But then I think about it for a sec and I'm like, "wait, no, that's awesome and I could never have come up with that."
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On A Ring You Can Eat
@DearyMe You've never heard of a beet? Do you live in a cave in the desert?
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On Ass? Stella?
"The sister of a guy I know's wife's friend is a teacher and totally had this girl named La-a Orangejello in her class a couple years ago. No really."
If I had a dollar for any time I've heard a version of the above, I'd have...at least 5-6 dollars.