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On When a Man Writes a Woman

I really like the female protagonist from Chris Ware's Building Stories too.

Posted on September 9, 2013 at 3:21 pm 0

On Three Poems About Unrequited Love

noooooo god why hairpin

Posted on August 6, 2013 at 3:08 pm 0

On Do You Suffer From Bitchy Resting Face?

Oh my god!!!! I have this! And then I overcompensate by smiling all the time. :(

Posted on June 13, 2013 at 6:12 pm 1

On The Insecurity Pie

I am on the first day of my period right now and this is making me paranoid as fuck.

Posted on April 11, 2013 at 7:41 pm 2

On On Romance and Psychosomatic Sneezing

Aaaah this happens to me too! When I'm really attracted to someone and start thinking sexy thoughts, it's like, argh, can't stop sneezing, why. I'm surprised it happens to others too!

Posted on March 28, 2013 at 10:43 am 1

On Depression, Mothers-in-Law, Friendzones

Hey, um, sort of tangential to #4... out of curiosity, how soon do you know it's time to give up hope? Is there a certain point at which "patiently waiting for a maybe to turn into a definite answer" becomes "pathetically waiting for a yes that isn't ever going to come"?

Posted on March 22, 2013 at 6:51 pm 1

On Photo Etiquette and the Modern Family

Can I just say really quick, LW#1--if his depression is coming in waves that are months or weeks long, consider that it might be Bipolar Disorder II, even BPD-NOS. Signs that he might have BPD include if SSRI's and other traditional antidepressants are ineffective, and if his depression began before the age of 20. Also, he doesn't have to have the classic hypomanic episodes where he splurges or gambles--he might be angry or anxious instead.

My best friend had crippling undiagnosed BPD for over a year--constant suicidal ideation, sobbing on the floor every night, couldn't leave the house, could talk only to me. We thought it was severe anxiety/depression like he's had all his life, but after 4 months of episodes every other day, he allowed himself to be talked into seeing a therapist. Eventually his therapist (so smart!!) diagnosed BPD, except instead of euphoric moods he had irritable moods. Now he's taking Lamictal and has made an unbelievable recovery--not a single episode for several months now, and he's so, so, so much happier. He's doing creative things again, got a sweet girlfriend, and is even thinking of finding a job!

I don't know about the severity of your boyfriend's condition but if it's bad, he might not be willing to get help for himself because he doesn't care what happens to him, thinks it's hopeless anyway, or feels that the depression has been with him so long he wouldn't be himself without it. But tell him that even if he doesn't think he needs help, *you* need help from him, because being his support is really painful for you as well. Like I said, I don't know that it's this bad for you, but in the worst moments, when my best friend didn't care about what happened to him anymore, he held on and got help because he cared about me, how much pain I was in holding him together during his episodes, how much I cried when he said he wanted to kill himself.

Anyways, it's completely understandable if you don't have the energy to deal with him and want to split up, because it's not really 100% healthy for you to be in that situation. But if you want to stick it out and see if he'll get help, remember to keep an eye on your emotional energy, set boundaries so you don't get totally drained, and take really good care of yourself. Good luck, either way!

Posted on December 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm 1

On The Mac Who Loved Me

Your writing is incredibly engaging. I couldn't stop reading even though I had to finish cooking dinner, and then I found out you were the one who wrote Ape-Face Johnson at the bottom and I was like, "Ohhhh."

Posted on October 11, 2011 at 2:20 am 0

On Glorified Booty Calls, Soul-Baring, and Moving In

Ugh, I really liked this dude's response to LW2, but why did he have to be so freaking condescending to LW4? Lady, you have no responsibility to rescue him from his random craigslist roommate--he can find a nice place himself, and should, because that kind of external pressure to move in can be damaging. And just because you love him doesn't mean you have to move in with him--plenty of long-term relationships I know have worked in separate living spaces, especially if you need your space and you already have an ideal living situation as it is.

Posted on September 23, 2011 at 3:28 pm 0

On Glorified Booty Calls, Soul-Baring, and Moving In

@queenofbithynia Yes!! Oh my god, so this.

Posted on September 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm 0