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On Soap Is the Devil

okay okay BUT can I tell you about the exfoliating gloves I bought the other day? I am pretty sure they remove a layer of skin because I feel so tingly afterwards. They are literally my favorite part of showering, and I wish they were the only part of showering but unfortunately I still have hair and a face

Posted on August 9, 2013 at 6:43 am 0

On The Dark Alley Pie

I have gotten off the bus and stormed right past my boyfriend before because I assumed he was some creeper and figured if I walked away and could pretend I hadn't heard or seen him that he would leave me alone.
I honestly don't find myself alone in unfamiliar areas that often; once I know a route by heart I usually feel safe walking it any time of day. Of course, I've only been sexually assaulted by people who took the time to befriend me first, so maybe my body language says, "Oh hey dudes, just wait a second for me to get home and let my guard down!"

Posted on August 1, 2013 at 3:38 pm 3

On "What Does #YOLO Mean to You?" Is Now a College Essay Prompt

I once drunk-commented "YOLO" on an acquaintance's Facebook status and one of his friends wrote something about how OH she DESPISED the very SENTIMENT of "YOLO" and I didn't know if I should say, "Sorry, I was drunk!!! hahahah lololol YOLO" so I just said something like, "Congratulations, how wonderful."

Posted on July 11, 2013 at 6:30 pm 23

On "What Does #YOLO Mean to You?" Is Now a College Essay Prompt

Posted on July 11, 2013 at 6:24 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

THANK FUCKING GOD IT IS FRIDAY. I only worked four days this week, but I worked 32 hours over the last three days with my comanager getting shit together at the store. My boss got demoted, now she's refusing to come to work, and there is a lot going on and it's all complicated because it's a real small sandwich shop, some of the employees live together, we're all friends, and the drama is ridiculous.

BUT I GOT PROMOTED with a raise, my first promotion ever, so even though I'm exhausted, knowing that my hard work was recognized feels crazy good

Posted on June 21, 2013 at 7:14 pm 2

On

@iceberg I hope you like reading a lot of drunk Game of Thrones status updates that I delete the next day because, really, excessive

Posted on June 17, 2013 at 7:03 pm 1

On Nancy Drew Books You Haven't Read Yet

Nancy Drew let out low whistle. "Why, this isn't an old windmill at all- it's a new windmill!"

Posted on June 17, 2013 at 6:26 pm 2

On

I post way too many FB status updates (sometimes upwards of one or two a day) and share things because I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO LIKE ME oh God why don't you like me

It's the same reason I tell lots of self-deprecating stories at parties, I'm just trying to keep people laughing over what a dumbass I am so they don't realize that I AM THAT DUMBASS. Apparently I still have a lot of social anxieties; maybe I should be talking about that to my therapist instead of "reason 805 why I don't get paid enough to put up with work bullshit"

Posted on June 17, 2013 at 9:25 am 4

On This Summer: Stop Buying $5 Iced Coffees

@frigwiggin Yesterday at my Sandwich Job my coworker made me some icy cucumber water with a splash of lime, and it was the tastiest thing. I don't even really like cucumber but I drank it all, ate my cuke chunks, then made myself another (my Sandwich Job is so very hot)

Posted on May 31, 2013 at 5:06 pm 0

On The To-Do List Pie

@yeah-elle Probably! we are legion. On Tuesday, at my Ice Cream Job (the lettuce stress comes from my Sandwich Job) I scooped 100 cups of ice cream just for some Taste of Wherever event, then spent four hours dipping waffle cones in chocolate while my 19-year-old coworker told me how he regulates his cocaine intake to no more than once a month, and I found myself wondering not for the first time how many more months past my one-year mark I will have to wait to get a raise

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 4:38 pm 0