Haha, thanks for replying! That's a strange rule for (presumably open-minded) swingers' clubs to have. I wonder what's at work behind that -- i.e. is it a throwback to AIDS-era fears about gay men, like the Red Cross ban on blood donation, or does it have something to do with the men themselves not being interested?
Anyway, I'm not expecting any solid answers, just musing on the possible explanations.
This was a really interesting interview and I enjoyed reading it, but I was getting a bit of a "no homo" vibe from the men described in it. I mean, I understand that this woman and her husband had their own sexual power dynamics that worked well for them in this scenario, but I'm curious if any of the sexual activity--especially the requests mediated by partners--involved two men. Perhaps I'm reading into this, but it seemed as if that was a boundary that was never crossed. I'd be interested to know more about that.
and death i think is no parenthesis
)Baba, I appreciate your eclectic punctuation(
This is such good satire of other self-identified lady blogs that my first reaction was outrage. Well done, Emma. Well done.
So because people are jerks in creative writing programs, we should also be jerks on the internet?
Also, I have done multiple creative writing programs, including one at the graduate level. It was my experience that while my classmates' criticism was often harsh and intense, no one ever attacked any of my life decisions for being different from what they would have done had they been in my place.
I agree that some of the criticism on this article is legitimate and writing-based, but I would hardly say that it is the bulk of the comments. A good deal of the remarks here appear to be anonymous rage directed at a woman that probably none of us know for making poor choices when presented with certain opportunities, or "privileges," since everyone likes to toss that word around as if it has one conclusive meaning to all of us.
No problem. I am also a writer, albeit in a different capacity than you, and I think the hallmark of a good writer is the ability to see the possible validity of experiences other than your own.
@mirah eep...why are we having such a hard time "replying" to each other...oh well.
@Panda+Attack Definitely why I read the comments! It's like the polar opposite of YouTube comments.
I see what you're saying, but at the same time, I don't think any of us are really in a position to judge someone especially harshly because they used the opportunities they were given in a different way from how we may have used them.
I love to read comments along the lines of, "If I had been given opportunities X, Y, and Z, just like the author, I would have done __________."
But here we're getting comments that are so scathing and mean, instead of perhaps speculating on what we might have done differently had we been in her position. I think it's great to talk about our own experiences in the context of this piece, but not if it means we have to completely tear down another person's choices, however misguided, in order to give value to our own decisions.
I honestly don't comment much, but I do enjoy reading others' thoughts on the writing here. But when did comments on The Hairpin become so vitriolic?
The amount of judgement and condescension on this thread is baffling.
I always liked The Hairpin because it seemed like a place to go to read about experiences that were totally foreign to my own. But if people face such needlessly nasty commentary on their work, are others going to want to share their experiences with us?
Despite the wild west mentality of the internet, I think it's still possible to discuss and critique a piece in a reasonably polite manner.
So you find this essay detestable? Well, so did I. But that's not an excuse to feel personally offended by the author's choices on some profound interior level and then attack her just for existing the way she does.
Maybe instead of lambasting the author's life choices, we could talk about what her essay brings up for us, and how our own experiences and decisions have shaped us in similar or in disparate ways.
OK, well, that's all I wanted to add. Also, Jia, I think it's important that the editors of a blog respond to commenters, so it's cool that you wrote back a few times in this thread.