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On Your Finger, It's So Long

"It's not just that they're more attractive, there are other perks too: Mr. Ring Finger is likely to be richer, and an 'extroverted go-getter with strong muscles,' and also he has 'a greater likelihood of playing a musical instrument.'"

Hooray!

"They're more promiscuous and have a 'higher chance of ending up in prison, being murdered or going mad.'"

Oh. Fuck you, science.

Posted on April 20, 2011 at 12:06 pm 0

On Ask a ______

Dear Saint Peter,

What was it like to be crucified upside down? Do you think it was more or less painful than being crucified rightside up? If you had it to do over again, would you just ask to be killed in the regular way? Also, will you let me into heaven when I am dead?

Posted on March 28, 2011 at 12:38 pm 0

On God Wants You Fat

Maybe getting inappropriately touched by Jeebus works up an appetite?

Posted on March 25, 2011 at 4:52 pm 0

On Jesus Puts His Hand In a Very Special Place

Evangelicals have all the fun.

Posted on March 24, 2011 at 10:48 am 0

On Word of the Day

Somewhere, the ghost of John C. Lilly is spinning in his celestial sensory-deprivation tank.

Posted on March 21, 2011 at 2:48 pm 0

On Your Husband, Your God

Like I said to my wife years ago: loving each other gives us both the freedom to be our worst selves.

Posted on March 2, 2011 at 12:43 pm 0

On Smart People Have to Go to the Bathroom

Wow. They are really arguing that.

Posted on March 1, 2011 at 4:42 pm 0

On I Saw a Ghost (For Real)

Have you approached the producers of that Discovery TV show 'A Haunting' with this yet?

Posted on March 1, 2011 at 3:25 pm 0

On Men at the Gym Have Thoughts on My Reading Material

The time: Spring 2004

The place: the YMCA in Birmingham, Alabama

The book: '100 Years of Homosexuality,' the front cover of which displays two Roman centurions with their arms wrapped around each others' waists.

The response: Mostly disinterest, leavened with some grimacing eye-aversions.

Posted on February 25, 2011 at 1:31 pm 0

On Little Girl Thinks She Doesn't Want to Get Married -- But What If He Comes Running Out?

Well if it isn't little miss Aurora Leigh.
Am I wrong to be a little sad that we're still having this conversation 150 years later?

Posted on February 22, 2011 at 10:50 am 0