Whenever I'm wasted, I think I can open a beer bottle with a lighter, but I can't so I get those little parallel gashes on my knuckles. Once, I tried to open a bottle for a cute German girl, and I just wound up breaking her lighter, nearly slicing my finger off, and running away. And then I sat in the corner, being a drunk, lovesick, teenaged dick, and musing about death.
On Meet the Ostracized, Pad-Wearing, Goat's-Blood-Collecting Reproductive Health Hero of Southern India
Now here's someone with a really good attitude towards menstruation.