Also, it might come up in a natural way later, and that would be fine, but if anyone can think of a way to casually and proudly say "I'm a frequent commenter on a well-known ladies' blog" that sounds not creepy or begging-for-a-gold-star to a straight woman on a first date, I would love to hear it.
THIS IS IMPORTANT!
By Mira on $638,412.97
@nogreeneggs It's because Italians look at him.
"And I'm all for love. It is our national pastime, like shooting guns at one another."
By emilylou on Friday Open Thread
Haha, YOU GUYS! Sorry, I was at the gym, didn't mean to be so ~mysterious~
So: Today I got offered a DREAM JOB (food/restaurant writing & media!) in my DREAM CITY (Austin!) therefore I am MOVING TO TEXAS veryvery soon!!!!!! To eat tacos and drink Shiner and enjoy the sunshine with wee_rams and all other Pinners who want a new friend! Yee haw!
@ayo nicole Ezzzactly. At some point "waiting for someone good" just kind of expires, and you've just been waiting too damn long, and it's actually starting to interfere with your chances of having a normal thing with someone good. And this is all due to screwed up societal expectations that of course should go away, but the fact is, they're there and we have to deal with them. It's easy to say "wait til it's right" when you're 22, not so easy anymore when you're 33 and thinking, "am I ever going to get to do this thing?"
By madgemmc on Friday Open Thread
@MrComment if i were in boston, i'd totally be there, but unfortunately, this is not the case. however! YAY you and GOOD LUCK!!!
@mabellegueule Yeah, I don't really get how people can be "in love with" someone and not want to/not care about boning that person. I get that you can "love" all sorts of people, platonically, but "in love"? Means you want to bone. Unless you're 80 or whatnot. (but maybe even then?) Yet it seems pretty common that couples don't have sex with each other.
@mystique I would also say is that as you get more practice asking people out, you'll be better able to work your way up to the date-ask and read signs to save yourself some (but not all rejection). Like, I grew up with literally no game and no way to practice (helloooo being gay and growing up in a smaaaaaal town) so when I finally felt comfortable enough to start asking people out, I did so with A VENGEANCE. Only to learn that I came on *really* too strongly and I would have learned it more slowly if I hadn't had it pulled on me. So I don't know how relevant or useful this might be to you, but don't think of asking people out as "how can I get so-and-so to like/bang me" and count success as the number of people you can convince to go on a date with you (because if you do too much of that, it feels manipulative and doesn't lead to anything good/lasting (if that's what you want, anyway), plus -- as with everything else in life, it's actually not hard to get someone to agree to something once; it's getting them to agree to do it again that's hard). Instead, maybe try to think of it as a challenge to see how well you can read someone (VERY difficult when you are heavily invested in a particular answer), as well as practice being assertive and going after what you want (which includes information, right?).
P.S. advice on execution: revv up gently and give signals. I found out that if you just spring something on someone, sometimes they will turn you down not because they are disinterested, but because they don't have enough information to say yes.
LW2 - its possible that he's a player and a totally nice guy, which is why he does nice things. You just kind of say he's a known player, but does he mislead people? Cuz that's shitty. Or does he just like to fuck different people a lot?
The most succesful "player" dudes I know actually and genuinely really. Just love women. They fucked around A LOT, but also would do really nice things for women because they loved women. Because I don't like douchebags, they weren't cads, just men who loved sex and womens bodies and personalities and weren't afraid to admit it. This often got them laid - I mean, why wouldn't a woman want to be with a guy who loved the company of women?
And some of them totally became LTR guys. It wasn't some big switch or play - they just met some lady and bam! All of the sudden they don't care about playing the field because something just clicked.