On Keeping Up Appearances

The photos on this are awesome. I have no love for Aber-postale-isster after hours spent with disappointed pre-teen girls searching desperately to find ANYTHING in XL. And then watching them drop $30 on an almost see-through t-shirt if they did find something. And then laundering the damn things like they were cashmere lest they shrink even a millimeter.

Ugh, I'm such a mom...

Posted on January 23, 2015 at 10:31 am 0

On Weekend Roundup / Open Thread

What about when your employer recognizes the work day in terms of locking the doors to the building but not in terms of reducing your workload by one day's worth? When my boss tells me I have the day off I laugh bitterly. Gee thanks...one less day to do my work, sounds super fun.

To be fair, I'm a grad student and don't have a single thing to complain about. But the "day off" thing is really irritating me this year.

Posted on January 19, 2015 at 10:45 am 0


I'm divorced, remarried, and not into this. In fact, my spouse and I kind of make a point that we want to stay together because we WANT to stay together, not because it would be a pain in the rear to split.

The covenant requires a two-year waiting period for a divorce. How about a two-year waiting period for marriage? How about a reasonable minimum age like 25? Or you have to convince a judge or panel that you REALLY deserve to get married. Not that I actually think those should be laws, but it's marriage that is too easy to rush into (I should know!), not divorce.

Posted on December 18, 2014 at 1:45 pm 2

On Some Things I Cannot Unhear

Not four, definitely five.

This was so lovely. Thank you!

Posted on November 20, 2014 at 1:16 pm 0

On Self-Care, in Theory and Practice

All of this is great, including all the comments.

For better sleep and self-care, might I suggest reading. I think we're all big readers here, but really, get a book from the library, something that makes you happy (not necessarily something you think will "improve" you) and turn off all the screens and the noise and read. Screens tell your eyes it's still daytime. I can't think of anything more luxurious than saying, I'm going to turn off everything (not the lights, obv) and sit down and read this book for no other reason than because I LIKE IT. Pair with tea/coffee/wine/scotch as desired.

Posted on November 13, 2014 at 10:00 am 1

On Little Known Facts About Jack & Diane

This is just fantastic.

Posted on November 6, 2014 at 12:46 pm 1

On Not That Kind of Death: An Interview With Caitlin Doughty

@LilyB Wait, actually, I think the casket WAS open, because I seem to remember the comment being made that Grandma looked good, better than she did in her last few weeks alive, and Auntie wanted to remember her this way, looking peaceful.

Posted on October 28, 2014 at 9:39 am 2

On Not That Kind of Death: An Interview With Caitlin Doughty

Okay, so where does everybody stand on pictures at funerals? I don't mean "funeral selfies" and I don't mean nice pictures of everyone together outside the church, all dressed up. I had an aunt take a picture of a casket once. (It was closed, THANK GOD!) Same aunt asked me to put a video camera up to record a memorial service (no casket) for her not-in-attendance son, and I did (on a tripod, up on the balcony), but I didn't watch or keep a copy and I don't think I can do that ever again. I guess I feel like the memorial/funeral itself is something that happens there and then and doesn't need to be recorded in that way. But maybe I'm being weird about it.

Posted on October 28, 2014 at 9:37 am 1

On How To Change Your Name In 41 Easy Steps

Srsly? All I had to do in Illinois was have a copy of my divorce decree (from Washington) handy. There was no courtroom or anything. I got a new SS card, which helped me get a new drivers license and passport, and it was smooth sailing from there. I might have punched someone if they had asked me for a note from my ex. (Right, the bulletproof glass...)

Changing my name on certain bank accounts, on the other hand... I finally just closed them and opened new ones.

But yeah, I will never change my name again (I'm on my third one now that I'm remarried and I really do love it) and this is exactly why. It would have to really matter a lot--and clearly for some people it does--to go through all this nonsense.

Posted on October 14, 2014 at 10:23 am 0

On "Too Many" Straight Friends, Hiding Your Sex Tools, and Life in the Queer Lane

My husband and I figured out a great way to store our sex tools--in a hard-side suitcase with a key. Found one for $5 at a garage sale. I keep the key in my jewelry box. It wouldn't stop a crack team of thieves, but it prevents someone from stumbling upon our stash. If someone finds the key and opens it up, they're getting what they asked for!

Posted on October 10, 2014 at 4:54 pm 0