I live in an uncool neighborhood and write a blog no one reads about stuff nobody's interested in.
Right? You will get my striped shirts away from me the day you convince me that wearing them does not, in fact, magically make me Jean Seberg. And I've been working this delusion a long time, bub.
How is it a matrimonial leave if you're the only one taking time off? Obviously, her husband — who works at KKR! — couldn't take time off from KKR (where he works) when he has so many things to do! At KKR! KAY KAY ARRRRRRRRR
I found this to be the first of me asking aloud "omg, seriously? what are you fucking doing?" which came in handy later when, for example, my kid was a toddler and I found her naked and taking a shit on the living room floor.
Speaking from experience, it's less of a bonding moment and more of a "jesus christ what the fucking fuck is going ON in there, don't make me turn this uterus around, you goddamn kid(s)" moment.
Benefit = so very very good to those of us who are maybe a little ridiculously pale. If they ever stop making that Dandelion powder, I will go into a hulk-rage.
You just know this is actually going to be worn by a Wonder Woman fan at his/her ComicCon cosplay wedding, though.
You know Swampscott only reads the New Yorker to impress Marblehead.
A couple years ago, I wrote an essay about moving to a neighborhood where I was the only non-Latino. Some white power forum picked it up and there was a big thread on what a fucking idiot I was how they all looked forward to my next essay describing how I got mugged and/or sexually assaulted. My husband did his best to reassure me but I was completely hysterical over it: "Bu-bu-bu-but WHHHYYY are they so MEAAAAN to MMMEEEE?"
(o)(O) — puberty boobs. I got one boob before I had the other and for like, 6 weeks, I was pretty sure I had cancer and was going to doe.
Can "Ask A Dude" get like, a dozen spin-offs? Maybe "Ask An Old Lady (Who Is Super Cool And You Kind Of Hope To Be Her Later)" or "Ask Someone Who's Cooler Than You (About Stuff You Think Is Maybe Making You Look Like A Dork)"?