1. [yelling, from the bathroom.]
"Hey babe! Can you come here?"
"I just put toilet paper in there this morning. Did you drop it in the toilet?"
"No. Come here. Look at this poop. My shit is... it's, like, blue. Babe, my shit is blue. Come look at this. Bring your phone."
2. "You look different. Are you not wearing makeup?"
"No, I'm not wearing skin. I am sick of adhering to skin-filled beauty standards. Pass the chips."
3. "How was that crazy sex dream you had with that girl you saw in the coffee shop yesterday having sex with you on an airplane bound for France?"
"You know, I really hate when you read my mind without asking."
"Is that what you want? Should I buy tickets to France?"
4. "I'm so glad I got injured in that ice-skating accident and I can no longer go to the bathroom without assistan– no, no, I need a super tampon. That's the green one."
5. "Have you ever heard that urban legend about a couple who had to pee so bad at the same time and there was only one toilet so the girl sat on the toilet with her legs open and the dude just aimed his pee in between her legs?"
"Do you think anybody knows that's us?"
6. * feeds the other like a mama bird does to a baby *
Nichelle Gainer, author of the fantastic Tumblr Vintage Black Glamour, had an in-depth interview with Collector's Weekly that came out months ago, and none of you told me, but we'll put that behind us for now. I make no secret of being fiercely interested in mainstream depictions of people of color, historical depictions of people of color, artistic, religious, political—my boyfriend knows to tell me if a show has any black people in it to get me to watch—but throw in some GOWNS? I'm all there. READ MORE
There are three men I picture when I hear the words "my dad:" first and foremost, it's my actual dad. Second is Terry Crews, specifically in his role as Julius in Everybody Hates Chris, the patriarch of one of my family's favorite shows—also, he sort of looks like my dad. The last is Bill Cosby, who is, well, everybody's dad (Hairpin pal Michelle Markowitz already vehemently claims Claire Huxtable as her mother). READ MORE
Have you ever seen Beats, Rhymes, and Life: The Travels of A Tribe Called Quest? You should, one, because it's fascinating, and two, because director and producer Michael Rapaport manages to make some of it About Him in only a way that Michael Rapaport can. Anyway, in it, Q-Tip discusses his mindset after the group's mind-blowing debut album, Peoples Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm: "They were talking about a sophomore jinx. Sophomore jinx? What the fuck is that? I'm going to make the Low End Theory." Their follow-up record is one of the greatest albums of all time. READ MORE
Nothing excites me more than a great "Who's Better?" pop culture argument, where there are two major sides, only one correct answer, and everybody has an opinion. In the early 90s, only one question like this reigned: Bad Boy or Death Row? READ MORE
On a typical day, New York City streets register more than 70 decibels, enough to cause progressive hearing loss. The quiet that enveloped the city after the Towers fell was overwhelming. Manhattan-bound traffic was closed off to nonemergency vehicles for two days, and all commercial flights coming in and out of JFK, La Guardia, and Newark were canceled. Subways ran off and on because of power problems caused by the destruction at Chambers Street. Major League Baseball games were postponed until the seventeenth; the Stock Exchange reopened the same day. That wasn’t the half of it. Whole parts of the city seemed mute—most strikingly, its typically loquacious residents, who walked the streets speechless.
Three years ago, on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, New York magazine released a tribute issue, and it's still so, so good (full disclosure, I worked on the issue as an intern, and it makes me cry every time I read it). Titled The Encyclopedia of 9/11, the project is breathtaking in its scope and raw in its intimacy. The above entry is under "Q", for quiet. READ MORE
You're never gonna read Pete Wells again: The Bold Italic has discovered the new class of the world's greatest food reviewers, and they're all four years old. A photographer and an editor bring the kid to a top-tier restaurant– think the French Laundry, Mission Chinese– and the reviews, totally unfiltered, are golden: "These flavors are funny! There are TOO MANY FLAVORS," "Is that soap? It doesn't smell too soapy but I think that's soap," and "Um, is this a flower? To eat? Eww. I'm keeping this. I'm gonna give it some water." READ MORE
You know that thing where random men in public spaces totally try to subjugate your face and your actions and your facial actions and try to impart unwanted and unwarranted advice about how you should "smile, because it's such a nice day," or "flash those pearly whites, beautiful!" or "show that pretty smile of yours" and you can't stab them or sometimes even say anything back for fear of reciprocation so you just fantasize about responding with honey-drenched sarcasm and smiling so goddamned hard that you scare them away (or, on bad days, murdering them)? Then, boy, does Jessie Weinberg have the video for you.