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My Ten-Point Action Plan for Spending One Million Dollars at Tiffany

Perpetual presidential candidate Newt Gingrich made news last month when it was revealed he and his wife Callista carried a credit line of up to $500,000 at Tiffany, a jewelry store catering to the powerful and virtuous. He made news again last week when it was revealed he had a second line of credit—this one up to $1,000,000. (New Gingrich’s top fundraising staff has since quit.) READ MORE

Relationshapes!

This is the final installment of Relationshapes. Don’t pour yourself a drink; don’t slip into something comfortable. Just take a deep breath and remember this moment. READ MORE

Relationshapes!

The shadows are growing longer. Soon we’ll be plunged into darkness. This is the penultimate installment of Relationshapes! READ MORE

Relationshapes!

Like sands through the hourglass . . . so are the days of our Relationshapes. Slip into your loosest bra, pour yourself a glass of prosecco, run your fingers through your hair, and enjoy! READ MORE

Relationshapes!

Come closer. I need to tell you something, but I don’t want everyone on the internet to hear: There are only four installments of Relationshapes left. (PAUSE FOR YOU TO SCREAM IN ANGUISH.) We need to take the most of our limited time left together — meet me under the stone archway at the edge of Website Village and I’ll sing you a song. READ MORE

Relationshapes!

I don’t know if it’s raining where you’re reading this, but it’s raining where I’m writing it. My little house in the woods is damp and drafty and there’s some newfangled kind of mold sprouting up in the basement. (Phone sigh.) READ MORE

Relationshapes!

Hey gals, what have you been up to this week? Did you eat dinner at a fancy restaurant? Did you splurge and buy that new dress with the shiny pockets? What about taking a trip on a lover’s sailboat, or indulging in a full-body scrub with a bonus facial scrub at “Le Zing,” the hottest salon? Did you do any of those things? READ MORE

Relationshapes!

The tears, the jeers; the laughs, the gaffes. The highs and lows of life. They’re all here: inside the gilded frames of Relationshapes — the only comic represented exclusively by Sotheby’s Auction House. READ MORE

Relationshapes!

If last week’s news was all about gas prices, this week’s news is all about the wedding of King William and his girlfriend — the royal wedding! READ MORE

Relationshapes!

Last week was amazing! Thanks to everyone who sent congratulatory texts and voicemail messages. I was shocked when Relationshapes won a Pultizer Prize – I didn’t even know they gave Pulitzers for “Best Comic About Relationships,” but they do, so I guess it makes sense that I won! READ MORE