I'm just going to break all the rules and talk about the cutest thing that has ever woken me up in the dead of night:
Years ago, my boyfriend at the time used to leave his back patio door open at night(which is weird because we lived in San Francisco, but we were young and dumb), and I woke up to some rustling coming from the kitchen. I went in and turned on the light to find a raccoon standing on his hind legs over the drawer where bf kept individual mini bags of chips. He had a pack of fritos in hand, and we had a face-off for a second, before he scurried out the door, still clutching his snack.
@whizz_dumb YES, I forgot about that! They all pronounced it "Orrygone" and I was like what is WRONG with you people? : )
@melmuu Also, frappes!
I moved from Oregon to Massachusetts during high school. I took like a natural to the "soda" over the "pop." But "bubblah" just sounds silly. : ) Also, they said, "Don't be fresh," unironically if you were misbehaving, and "You're a piece of work" if they found you to be strange.
@MEGA VENUTIAN SPACE SCORPION Burn the whole house down.
...no wait, that's also spiders.
@TheBelleWitch Tickle his claws with a twig so that he'll back right up into your mason jar.
...no wait, that's crawdads.
@'riel I'm in SF! I think there are a lot of San Franciscans. Let's do it.
@melmuu P.S. also, I love this piece. Hilarious.
I'm hearing impaired, so that makes it even more interesting sometimes. Last time I thought the instructor said something like, "Just take a moment to think about all the dead people who are watching you right now."
Though, judging from the comments herein, maybe she really did say that, and it wasn't just my faulty ears?