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On "What's the Worst Thing That's Woken You Up in the Dead of Night?"

I'm just going to break all the rules and talk about the cutest thing that has ever woken me up in the dead of night:
Years ago, my boyfriend at the time used to leave his back patio door open at night(which is weird because we lived in San Francisco, but we were young and dumb), and I woke up to some rustling coming from the kitchen. I went in and turned on the light to find a raccoon standing on his hind legs over the drawer where bf kept individual mini bags of chips. He had a pack of fritos in hand, and we had a face-off for a second, before he scurried out the door, still clutching his snack.

Posted on June 12, 2013 at 2:33 pm 26

On What Is a "Water Fountain"

@whizz_dumb YES, I forgot about that! They all pronounced it "Orrygone" and I was like what is WRONG with you people? : )

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 1:54 pm 0

On What Is a "Water Fountain"

@melmuu Also, frappes!

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 1:07 pm 3

On What Is a "Water Fountain"

I moved from Oregon to Massachusetts during high school. I took like a natural to the "soda" over the "pop." But "bubblah" just sounds silly. : ) Also, they said, "Don't be fresh," unironically if you were misbehaving, and "You're a piece of work" if they found you to be strange.

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 1:06 pm 3

On Why Did You Lose Him?

@MEGA VENUTIAN SPACE SCORPION Burn the whole house down.

...no wait, that's also spiders.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 5:37 pm 12

On Why Did You Lose Him?

@TheBelleWitch Tickle his claws with a twig so that he'll back right up into your mason jar.

...no wait, that's crawdads.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 2:27 pm 14

On We Are All Pregnant Again

Happy Shrub.

Posted on May 17, 2013 at 2:53 pm 1

On Your May 'Pinup Roundup

@'riel I'm in SF! I think there are a lot of San Franciscans. Let's do it.

Posted on May 16, 2013 at 6:41 pm 1

On 10 Things My Yoga Instructor Said That Almost Made Me Quit Yoga

@melmuu P.S. also, I love this piece. Hilarious.

Posted on May 16, 2013 at 5:11 pm 1

On 10 Things My Yoga Instructor Said That Almost Made Me Quit Yoga

I'm hearing impaired, so that makes it even more interesting sometimes. Last time I thought the instructor said something like, "Just take a moment to think about all the dead people who are watching you right now."
Haunted yoga!
Though, judging from the comments herein, maybe she really did say that, and it wasn't just my faulty ears?

Posted on May 16, 2013 at 4:42 pm 27