On Is That a Cluster of Grapes in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
Please don't say "G-spot in a cadaver" to me ever again.
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On The Best Time I Got Hearing Aids at Age 32
Wow, thanks for this. It makes me happy that so many people can relate to what I'm saying in this piece, personally, or through loved ones. I love what you said about friendships being all the better for it. Wearing them consistently has been a struggle, and I agree with you it's important to get a lot of wearing time in...that way your brain retrains itself. I admire you!
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On The Best Time I Thought I Was Going to Die Alone in Punta Cana
@melmuu And I'm glad you're okay!
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On The Best Time I Thought I Was Going to Die Alone in Punta Cana
This is horrifying and beautiful. I love this.
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On Ask a Clean Person: Get Rid of the Easter Bunny, Seriously, He's Revolting
@jenny_ @NeverOddOrEven Okay, thanks you guys. I feel better.
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On Ask a Clean Person: Get Rid of the Easter Bunny, Seriously, He's Revolting
Um, A Clean Person (or other Clean People)? So, this happened to me yesterday: I had cleaned our shower with Comet and maybe didn't rinse it very well or something, and I guess the Comet got on my exfoliating gloves, because last night after I took a shower, I had a streaky red rash all down both of my thighs UNDER my skin, like a chemical burn...looks really bad and is still there this morning. It's not raised, just, like underneath, almost like a big rash of burst blood vessels. Do you think this is going to go away, or am I permanently disfigured? Help!
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On How Not to Order a Drink, Part Five
Cute, but I don't totally get it. Also, I love being out of my 20s.
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On The Return of the Mysterious, Long-Fingered Frog
A mysterious lonfingered frog crosses his legs in front of you and stares into that space between the light and shadow, says, "The universe is no narrow thing and the order within it is not constrained by any latitude in its conception to repeat what exists in one part in any other part. Even in this world more things exist without our knowledge than with it and the order in creation which you see is that which you have put there, like a string in a maze, so that you shall not lose your way. For existence has its own order and that no man's mind can compass, the mind itself being but a fact among others."
(then he admits that he ripped it off from cormac mccarthy)
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On Mothers' Day
SO beautiful. I wanted it to be a novel. But I'll just read it again:)