This is a true story:
When I was four, my mother had the Jane Fonda workout, and I would do it with her. I would stand next to her and try all the moves, twists, turns. The only problem was: I was four, and wasn't really great at taking direction; if Jane Fonda moved to the left, I would mirror her and move to my right, and so on.
So, one evening, my mom and I were exercising to a Jane Fonda tape. Jane Fonda swirled her hips to the side, and said "Turn to the right!" My mother turned to the right. I turned to the left.
We were exercising in the living room, which had a section of wall that protruded outward, with two corners jutting into the room. It was one of these corners that I connected with, after my mother's hip, moving in the opposite direction of mine, collided with me.
I woke up in the passenger seat, blood trickling down from my forehead. I had hit the wall head-on. I was woozy, out of it, but I remember my mother, panicked, saying it was going to be okay.
She took me into the emergency room, and the attending nurses pulled me aside as soon as I was signed in. After all, a four-year-old child with a gaping head wound might have just experienced serious domestic abuse, and they needed to know. One of them took a warm cloth and began to wipe blood from my cheek and forehead, and spoke to me softly.
"Are you feeling okay, honey?" he asked.
"Yes." I was still light-headed, but tried to look him in the eye.
"Can you tell us how this happened?" The nurses loomed over me, waiting for some horrible news. I nodded, solemnly, and replied:
@captainbartlet we love you sad gay teen!!!!!
man oh man I'm a sad gay teen and I literally discovered Ani like 3 days ago and I'm loving it because she reminds me of the music my (lesbian) moms used to play in the car when I was very little and also because my queer babysitter with yiddish tattoos taught me to play 'both hands' on the ukulele when I was 8 and I had no idea what the song was about then but anyway both those things stand up to your lesbian nostalgia theories also I did have a slight Lana obsession for the past few months wow you guys did some spot-on sociological research for this A+ work
By selyse on I Can't Wear Heels
The right heel can be just a comfortable as a flat ... more comfortable, even. You just have to find the right shoe. Look for a comfortable heel height, a toe box that doesn't squish you and a heel that is a reasonable balance between supportive and sexy. Corporette has many posts/discussion about finding comfortable heels (http://corporette.com/2014/04/08/how-to-wear-heels/) with some great recommendations. But like most things, baby steps! Start gradually, build up some skills first. Maybe a nice wedge to start?
Oversaturation Hypothesis: Since she was her own label executive nobody ever told her that not every random thought she ever had needed to be set to music and released.
@bitzyboozer Cosigned on the Revlon lipstick.
I don't have sensitive skin, so my rule is "cheap moisturizer, expensive foundation."
GUYS THIS WAS ALL SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE CHILI DEFINITELY ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEANS Y'ALL ARE FARTY MONSTERS
By sunsoda on Wedding Town
This is so well written. Thank you for so clearly sharing your thoughts and feelings about the complex way we perform our gender and identity. I'm a bit surprised that your friend wouldn't let you wear something you felt more comfortable in! You're a good friend and (very) nice person to play along and dress up.
By itmakesmewonder on Wedding Town
What I don't understand is why a lifelong friend of a proud androgyne wanted her to dress up in this Girl Sunday costume and be uncomfortable on this important day. WEDDINGS, what are they.
I would like to know what a Diane costume is like!