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On Friday Open Thread

@CinnamonSwirls I totally understand why you'd be concerned, but here's something to keep in mind: the interaction between the two bosses basically just went:
NB: It will be cool to work with Coworker
CB: No, you're working with CS, and you'll like that a lot.
NB: Oh, right, I forgot.
To an outside observer who doesn't have her perceptions colored by a rivalry, it sounds like New Boss isn't disappointed to be working with you; she just expected to be working with someone else whom she's familiar with and thinks well of. You're moving to a team where it sounds like there actually aren't a lot of preconceived notions about you, away from the boss who demeans your position. So now you have the opportunity to come out of the gates completely kicking ass and making a good name for yourself. This could be really cool! Good luck!

Posted on September 8, 2013 at 10:31 am 2

On Friday Open Thread

@Faintly Macabre: My office is currently hiring a new employee, and it took about a week for us to interview everyone, plus we had to go through official channels, etc., before we could give an offer, so I don't think that one week is long enough for the silence to be a sign. Did you send thank you emails reiterating your interest? Do so if you haven't yet; hopefully you can sleuth out the contact info online, and then you'd have a way to follow up next week. Good luck! It sounds like an exciting opportunity, so I'll send good vibes into the universe for you. :)

Posted on July 19, 2013 at 4:29 pm 0

On The 10 Minutes Away Pie

@Diana : I assumed that Ann meant the mid-conversation "hey, I just got to the restaurant, I'll call you back tomorrow" that I totally do if I call my mom on my walk somewhere (which she seems cool with, especially if I tell her when she answers the phone that I just had 15 minutes and wanted to say hi or whatever).

Posted on July 19, 2013 at 3:57 pm 1

On Fresh Hells

Speaking just for myself, I don't think you can be fucked out of loneliness, but you can definitely be fucked waaaay further into it.

Posted on July 17, 2013 at 3:01 pm 11

On Ways in Which Hashtags Will Further Ruin Your Facebook Feed

@steenie : Hahaha, I'm 34 and my boyfriend and I do this in conversation all the time! I even put a hashtag in the card I made for him yesterday. I say that I'm doing it as a joke, because I'm so far out of that culture that I don't even have a personal Twitter, but by engaging at all I guess I'm also PART OF THE PROBLEM. I'm also That Old Person who's trying to be hip to the lingo, heehee. I knew it would happen eventually!

Posted on June 13, 2013 at 3:44 pm 2

On Friday Open Thread

@panther: My comment is a little late, but here are a few other considerations:

When he was making the plan to go to graduate school, were you part of the decision-making process or not? Did he ask you where you'd be willing to move? Or if not that, does his move to NYC make your "long distance" a shorter distance (implying some sort of compromise)? If "no" on both counts, I'd definitely be leery of uprooting my life for something that was not a mutual decision and would be awesome for him (yay, he gets everything he wants) but a series of compromises and uncertainties on my part. I would reverse this position if we'd agreed that if I don't grow to love NY we would leave after his grad program ends. (All bets are off if he's going to be a PhD student for like 8 years ;) ) I'm not against sacrificing or compromising and don't expect there to be a perfectly equal alternation of compromises in relationships, but I would want to make sure that my own needs were being taken seriously by my partner when I was considering such a big change.

I guess that, reading your comments, I really get the sense that you're not ready at this moment to make the move. I second the suggestion that you stay long distance for a while, because then you can make a more informed decision based on how you feel being apart, how you fit into his new NY life, etc., and you can always decide to move to NY later but it will be harder to move once and then move back. While you're doing the long distance thing, I'd maybe increase efforts to pay down that debt, The Billfold-style, and then maybe you'll feel a little more freedom to make your choice when the debt seems like something a bit more manageable (even if it's still like $xx,xxx because ugh, student loans). Good luck!

Posted on June 8, 2013 at 10:24 am 0

On Friday Open Thread

@panther: My comment is a little late, but here are a few other considerations:

When he was making the plan to go to graduate school, were you part of the decision-making process or not? Did he ask you where you'd be willing to move? Or if not that, does his move to NYC make your "long distance" a shorter distance (implying some sort of compromise)? If "no" on both counts, I'd definitely be leery of uprooting my life for something that was not a mutual decision and would be awesome for him (yay, he gets everything he wants) but a series of compromises and uncertainties on my part. I would reverse this position if we'd agreed that if I don't grow to love NY we would leave after his grad program ends. (All bets are off if he's going to be a PhD student for like 8 years ;) ) I'm not against sacrificing or compromising and don't expect there to be a perfectly equal alternation of compromises in relationships, but I would want to make sure that my own needs were being taken seriously by my partner when I was considering such a big change.

I guess that, reading your comments, I really get the sense that you're not ready at this moment to make the move. I second the suggestion that you stay long distance for a while, because then you can make a more informed decision based on how you feel being apart, how you fit into his new NY life, etc., and you can always decide to move to NY later but it will be harder to move once and then move back. While you're doing the long distance thing, I'd maybe increase efforts to pay down that debt, The Billfold-style, and then maybe you'll feel a little more freedom to make your choice when the debt seems like something a bit more manageable (even if it's still like $xx,xxx because ugh, student loans). Good luck!

Posted on June 8, 2013 at 10:24 am 1

On Friday Open Thread

@Catina Wig: I know I'm late to the party, but I wanted to send you some moral support and good wishes. I had them last summer and it was a time-consuming, insomnia-inducing, annoying ordeal, but by following all the suggestions online I really did get rid of them, so have faith that you'll be able to get rid of them, too!

Posted on May 20, 2013 at 12:07 pm 0

On 10 Things My Yoga Instructor Said That Almost Made Me Quit Yoga

@fondue with cheddar : Yes, that's where they are, at the base of the pelvis- they're called the "tuberosity of the ischium" or the "sitz bones," so it's actually not just a silly expression your teacher uses, even though it totally sounds that way.

Posted on May 17, 2013 at 9:33 am 0

On 10 Things My Yoga Instructor Said That Almost Made Me Quit Yoga

One night there was a work crew banging around outside the studio where I teach and the students were getting annoyed, so I said in my hippiest voice, "This is a good time to work on turning your attention inward," and then they all started laughing, so I think that I have a lot of work to do to establish my New Age credibility. Clearly I need to restock my binder full of Rumi poems and start talking more about chakras.

Posted on May 16, 2013 at 4:46 pm 10