Not only is this the best, most useful piece of service journalism I've read in... I don't know how long, but also: The suggestions in the comments are almost uniformly outstanding. I almost want to have a second kid just so I can use this stuff. Almost.
Terms of Endearment. Basement den full of sobbing 13-year-olds. Sobbing.
I have nothing clever or interesting to say about this. I will simply say, instead, that this is wonderful. Thank you for publishing this delightful bit of scholarship.
Subhead #3 in the Wikipedia entry? "Notable members", of course.
I mean, for real: Let's suppose you can imagine a George W. Bush sex scandal. Which you can't. But, if you could: How boring would it be? Very.
"He's fun, spontaneous, obsessed with his body, and knows how to party. Bush is great one-night-stand material for all the same reasons that he was a terrible president." I humbly suggest that a man who is obsessed with HIS body is most assuredly not "great one-night-stand material." I think that the fact that I got through all 8 years of his presidency without ever considering what he was like in the sack speaks volumes about W's sexiness. He's not even hot in an "I-know-he's-an-asshole-but-he's-hot" kind of way. No. I'd go all the way with Millard Fillmore before I'd do Bush.
P.S. According to EVERYONE I know who has ever been in the presence of Bill Clinton, he's, like, Elvis-hot. Absolutely mesmerizing, even when he's fat or wearing a polo shirt with one-half of the collar flipped up and one down or whatever. Just all-encompassing-hot, even though, intellectually, you know he shouldn't be.