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On Our Eyebrows, Our Selves

marissa cooper's hipbones
MARISSA COOPER'S HIPBONES

destroying the egos of teenage girls since 2003

Posted on October 13, 2014 at 12:58 pm 1

On On Hair, There and Everywhere, and Intra-Cultural Shame

@hedgehogerie I don't know why this has to be a competition. I'm a mostly-Scandinavian dark-haired mishmosh and yes, I do have a 5 o'clock pit shadow, and weeks when I shave my legs every 3 days - as the author apparently does - are weeks when I don't give a shit what my legs look like, because my leg shadow arrives around 3pm. Threading every 3 weeks? I plucked my eyebrows so much in high school and college that they were constantly bleeding/infected in an attempt to keep the unibrow at bay.

My point is that there's no need to do some kind of competitive-misery ethnic comparison. We all struggle with unrealistic body standards; yes, some of us have it rougher than others, but not necessarily on some kind of perfectly rank-able genetic scale; different people are different. Plenty of "blondies" have dark body hair; I had a redheaded friend who hated the way her (virtually invisible to me) leg hair SPARKLED in the sun. Commiserate, fine; but don't denigrate others for having their own bodily insecurities. I agree with "fuck whoever you are dating if they aren't down" (or don't fuck them, as the case may be). But let's also agree that people are allowed to worry about their bodies however they want.

Posted on August 19, 2014 at 8:20 pm 2

On Preexisting Conditions

oh gosh. i have a little bit of this stuff going on right now - not to this extent, but enough that i can see what it would be like to have more - and that last line made me tear up.

Posted on July 2, 2014 at 5:38 pm 0

On Potato Nightmare

Okay, I clicked through, and I'm confused. The header for this section says "Potato Skins" but the blurb is about spoiled potatoes. Am I not supposed to eat potato skins!? Or just non-spoiled ones!? How can I tell if a potato is spoiled (other than if it's rotten/black/squishy)? What if I cut the growing eyes out!?

SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM DEATH.

Posted on March 18, 2014 at 1:58 pm 0

On Someone Explain Dating to Me

@TheMnemosyne those ARE crazy. but they also make me think - as someone who's never used okcupid, so grains of salt etc. - that a lot of people now just take the craigslist approach to dating. which is to say, figure out what you want and throw out appeals to anyone who might meet that desire. need a table? any table you see listed on craigslist will be worth the 15 seconds it takes to send an email to the seller and offer a lower price and request delivery. if it works out, great! if not, you've only lost 15 seconds.

eta: i realize that it's sad, and i think it's telling, that i couldn't explain what i meant without comparing a romantic prospect to a piece of furniture.

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 3:51 pm 1

On How to Enjoy the Airport This Holiday Travel Season

The salmon at Sea-Tac are interspersed with little planes...if you walk along the line, they kind of slowly get more and more plane-like until they're clearly planes, and then the planes get more and more salmon-y till they're clearly salmon. I love Sea-Tac. (Except for the fountains that mimic the sound of a bubbling brook - those annoy me.)

Posted on December 20, 2013 at 6:56 pm 1

On Get This Kay Jewelers Commercial Out My Face

oh god oh god i hate this so much. this tag is everything: DON'T GIVE A MAN A FISH JUST TEACH YOUR DAUGHTER HOW TO FISH FOR FALSE EMOTIONAL SECURITY VIA MEN OFFERING HER SHINY OBJECTS TO REPRESENT HER VALUE LIKE IT'S FUCKING BIBLICAL TIMES. however it doesn't fully express the ick of the commercial, because it's not just that it's a diamond, it's that it's JUST LIKE YOURS, MOMMY (i've memorized it out of pure outrage and also because it plays every ten fucking minutes).

but what about the one with the man who runs the mistletoe company!?!?!?! how come no one's mentioned that? i think it wins for pure annoyingness.

Posted on December 9, 2013 at 6:40 pm 0

On All Lotion Should Be Like This Lotion

and also this lotion is amazing!! you can buy it at whole foods, and it's not expensive - it's like $10 for one of these huge things, which you can use (gasp) on your body AND FACE. and i have really sensitive skin, so normally i would never. (full disclosure: because it's winter i'm currently using this mixed with some vitamin e and a little extra oil as my face lotion - but in summer i just use it straight.)

Posted on December 6, 2013 at 5:45 pm 0

On The Acceptance Pie

http://www.amazon.com/Sam-Edelman-Womens-Petty-Bootie/dp/B004I5D4K6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1386354203&sr=8-1&keywords=sam+edelman+petty

you're welcome

Posted on December 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm 0

On Closeted Characters, and the Books That Love Them

Posted on November 21, 2013 at 11:50 pm 0