@zeytin In addition to the utter BS of the "more complex women's hairstyles" excuse (what on EARTH is harder to cut than a fade?!) I've also heard it's okay because men go in for trims all the time, but we only go in every few months.
By that logic, I should pay less for gas, since my awful geriatric land-yacht goes through so much of it, but a hybrid that gets 40+ MPG should probably pay more because they don't need to fuel up as often.
@cosmeticslovingattorney No right answer, I sometimes think. If we take it, we're wusses; if we call them out on it, we're "bitches who can't take a compliment" at minimum, and we run the risk of enraging a deranged misogynist, which can have real consequences; if we ignore it, we're "ugly anyway."
I have occasionally had success by pretending to be horribly deranged myself. This is probably very wrong. When my friend and I were 19 and wandering West Hollywood on foot one summer, creepy men kept approaching us until we started singing songs about testicles at the tops of our lungs. (I think we testicle-ized the Sesame Street theme.) It was very empowering to see men crossing the street to get away from US. I've seldom had the guts to try similar things alone, though.
1. In a crosswalk in downtown Salt Lake City, I'm going east-to-west and some dirty guy is going west-to-east. He orders to me to smile. I'm having a bad day, so I yell "EARN IT!" (Stole this line, can't remember from whom.)
Dirty guy immediately becomes LIVID and starts screaming at me that life is too short not to be happy. I bail for the copy shop.
2. My father-in-law is at his own mother's funeral. In the parking lot, he recognizes a female mourner, pulls to a stop, rolls down the window, and ORDERS HER TO SMILE.
These are not the only smile stories, just my personal faves.
@Oh, squiggles PREACH. Why does it never occur to these guys to ask advice from guys who actually score?
Oh, right. Those guys are "jerks," because "I'm a NICE GUY and women only like jerks!" Sure, pumpkin. Never had anything to do with your personal hygiene or your attitude or your expectations. ALWAYS been that you were too nice. Clearly you need a mentor who has a XXXXL "no fatties" t-shirt.
I wish I could hire the author and a time machine, and sic her on 60 percent of the people at my old office. Dang ol', dang ol', speaker phone, loud voice, loud laugh, personal desk radio on modern country hits without headphones, Bath and Body Works as a form of self-expression, I tell you whut.
@Blushingflwr In Utah it still comes in the form of "I'm JUST being HON-esttttttt, you ex-PECT me to de-NY who I ammmmmmm for yeeeeew?"
@mollpants Thanks. I was reminded of that one gay friend some of us had in high school. The one who went out of his way to point out how gross he thought women's bodies were, and sort of got off on making us feel hideous.
I mean, he basically brags about how fond of him she seems, then turns around and makes gaggy barfy gestures.
@Susanna Thanks for giving us a better lens into things! I'm kind of amazed how little I learned about the subject and her life, and how much, by contrast, I learned about the author.
I wondered about the "weak" correlation between benevolent sexism in men and their own sense of entitlement. I guess it's safe to assume that the really entitled men are more likely to favor hostile sexism?
@stalkingcat We're that obnoxious couple that never kills the bugs ourselves, but occasionally lets the cats kill certain ones (box elder bugs, moths). If it's a spider, we have a routine:
E AND D: (Screams)
MR: (Offstage) "What?"
E AND D: "Honey, can you come tell me what kind of spider this is?"
MR: (Offstage) "Oh, for pity's sake..."
[ENTER MR, WITH A JAR AND A STIFF PIECE OF JUNK MAIL TO TRAP THE SPIDER.]