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How to Mount a TV When You Have No Boyfriend, No Prospects, and Lack the Shamelessness Required to Ask for Help

First, go without a TV for at least two years—four if you can swing it. Find yourself at parties unable to laugh convincingly at the jokes people make about funny commercials because you are hopelessly out of touch with the latest marketing campaigns. Come to the realization that you could encounter any number of reality TV stars and never know it—that you probably have encountered dozens already, and are completely unaware of your many brushes with near-fandom. Develop neck pain from craning to marathon-watch episodes of Arrested Development and How I Met Your Mother on your iPad propped up on your coffee table whilst you lie on the couch. READ MORE