I feel like the hole-averse should definitely avoid looking at Patricia Piccinini's art, especially the Stem Cell and Lump series.
Art historian here. What you say about women and gay men making theory palatable rings true to me--I have always loved theory and felt like it was putting together a difficult but rewarding puzzle in my head, but looking back, all my profs that made me love the shit out of theory were women--glorious, whip-smart women, with a few gay men thrown in. I have run into a few terrible stuffy theorists (Rosalind Krauss, looking at you! Your ideas are NOT COMPLICATED ENOUGH to be this difficult to read!) but I feel pretty lucky that my profs made even deciphering Lacan into a rewarding task. Maybe it helped that it was in service of understanding feminist art and critiques of Lacan? I'm at a community college, and especially in my Contemporary Art classes, I bring a little theory in. Hopefully producing the next generation of theory-lovers, not theoryheads!